Dear Breastfeeding...

Dear Breastfeeding,
Today is our six month Anniversary. We have had our ups and downs. To be honest, I thought I was going to dump you after about 3 weeks. Then I thought I would keep giving you chance after chance to prove yourself. I didn't see our relationship going past 6 months and here is why. You have made my life convenient and so inconvenient at the same time. You force me to wear maxi like pads inside my really ugly nursing bra everyday. When Holt leaves us, you sting me like needles if it would be time for him to eat. In order to stop that, you force me to hook up a machine to my boobs that makes me feel like Bessie the cow. SLURP SLURP SLURP. When I wake up in the morning I look like Pamela Anderson only to be disappointed after Holt's first feeding when I go back to looking like deflated water balloons. When I am done with you for good, I think I will get some new ones that permanently make me look like I do in the mornings. It will be the only way to get these puppies perky again. I have been a slave to a 3-4 hour time frame for 6 months now. A SLAVE I TELL YOU. When I'm out in public, you force me to feed in my car, closest dressing room, or rush home. I can get one errand done at a time. On road trips, I have had to pump in the front seat to prepare a bottle for Holt. This always brings on strange looks from the truckers in the next lane. At work I have to take 2 15 minute, awkward, pump breaks and conceal my baggie full of milk on the way to the freezer. I'm certain everyone knows what my oh so discreet black bag is for by now.

On the plus side, you help me calm down Holt in the middle of the night while he is growing or sick. Instead of having to spend 10 minutes warming a bottle in the middle of the night when Holt was a newborn, you were always ready to go. You have made him very healthy and strong. Holt has never even had a drop of formula and he is growing because of you. I know you have been good to us. This weekend I introduce a new friend, solid foods. I think I might keep you around a little while longer. But when Holt gets his first tooth, our relationship is officially over. Once I got the hang of you, you weren't so bad. Overall, I feel like Forrest Gump. "I figured since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn back, keep right on going."

Sincerely,
Mommy, Mama, Shea

SICK

I have been slacking on my blog. Basically the story around here is SICKness. Holt was diagnosed with RSV a week ago and we have been dealing with that ever since. I was home from work with him except for Wednesday when Kyle took his turn. Luckily he never spiked the fever and his oxygen levels were great. I was trying not to be the paranoid Mom by taking him to the doctor, but there was something not quite right about his cough. He had even been sleeping really well at night still. I knew when he took a 3 hour nap last Sunday, that he was not quite himself. He is known for not napping. I took him to the doctor and sure enough he had RSV. A little boy in his class was also diagnosed with RSV and they sent a letter home a few days before. I was looking for all the scary symptoms like: fever, rapid breathing, wheezing. He never had any of those, thank goodness! For the most part he has been his normal happy, smiley self. Somedays are better than others. Like today, his cough is subsiding a bit, but he will not play and wants to be held ALL the time. This nasty virus can last up to 21 days! The worst part is that there is really nothing you can do for them except WATCH. This is exhausting for a Mommy. I must be up every hour at night listening to him breath or putting my hand on his chest to see how fast it is going. I check him daily for a fever, unless I really can tell he doesn't have one. He has been getting up anywhere from 0-3 times a night coughing. If he wakes himself up too much, he cannot put himself back down. That requires some rocking or a feeding here and there. The doctor says you have to give into the feedings in the middle of the night and more frequently during the day because that is how they stay hydrated. Also exhausting for a Mommy. We've spent so much time cuddled up together this past week that he has now passed his germs along to me. I'm battling a terrible cold. The kind where when you wake up in the morning you feel like you cannot physically lift your head off the pillow because it is so heavy. The kind with a pounding in your skull and a faucet for a nose. So far it has not moved into my chest, but I wouldn't be surprised. Also, while breastfeeding, you are very limited on what you can take to make yourself feel better. Much like being pregnant again. I have only taken the plain ol' Sudafed. I don't notice much of a change.

On the bright side, Holt turns 6 months this week and we will begin solids. My mom is also going to be in town for a few days. We've both been aching to spend some time together lately so I am happy she is finally coming. If I'm not well, maybe she can take care of me. :)

5 Months!

Oh my gosh, he's five months already. It's getting to that point where I want things to slow down. I was ok getting through the rough first few weeks and getting to where he would sleep through the night, now it is just going by too fast! He is the size I always pictured myself holding perfectly on my hip. He's the perfect sized baby right now. He is strong and sturdy but not old enough to start getting into everything. Stay this way! So many milestones are just around the corner for him. It's that time again when I do his laundry I have a "cannot wear anymore" pile. Feels like I just did this! He's the most perfect little baby I could have ever hoped for. He is light of his daddy's life and he's mommy's best friend. I honestly talk to him like he knows exactly what I'm saying and we're BFFs.


Favs:
-Sucking his left foot
-Smiling and laughing
-Bentley (loves to follow him around the room and he tries to reach out to him, Bentley is not so much a fan)
-Games with daddy
-Listening to mommy sing to him (poor guy!)
-Rattles and sassy links
-His frog stuffed animal
-Books




Dislikes:
-The bumbo for too long
-Starting to notice when I leave the room
-Laying on his tummy too long
-Nose aspirator (I would hate it too)
-Pulling shirts over his head (he's ok if you make sure his eyes are NEVER covered)
-The carseat when he is awake and not sleepy at all

Holt Fun facts:
-Size 2 diapers
-About 16 lbs
-Size 6 month clothes, some 9 month
-Working on rolling from tummy to back
-Trying to sit by himself, kinda doing the tripod but loses balance after about 5 seconds
-Grabs anything you put in front of him and immediately puts it in his mouth
-Fascinated by his hand and fingers
-Still on breastmilk only
-Taking his first plane ride to the Rose Bowl next week!
-Follows us around the room with his eyes and by moving his head
-Starting to recognize his name a little
-Knows our voices and immediately turns toward the sound to find us
-Sleeps from 8-6:30 or 7:30 (depends on if I'm working from home or going to the office)
-A very happy happy baby!

Santa!!!! I know him!

Yesterday Kyle and I took Holt to see Santa for the first time. When I saw the line, I got a little nervous knowing Holt was going to be ready to eat in about 30 minutes or so. Luckily he doesn't have meltdowns when he's hungry like he did as a newborn. He can usually wait awhile longer. I was pleasantly surprised that he was happy as could be in his stroller or in Daddy's arms while we waited for about 45 minutes! That gave Kyle and I plenty of time to discuss which ridiculously overpriced packaged we would choose. The cheapest was $20 all the way up to $45. My first thought when I saw the $45 package was , "That is ridiculous, who would spend that on a silly Santa picture? All you need is one!" I actually needed at least 2, one wallet (for an ornament on the tree) and one 4x6 (for a special 2010 frame). They only had 5x7s, 3x5s, and wallets. Oh but for $7 more you could add a disc to your order and print all the Santa pictures you wanted! $40 later we walked out of there with 2 5x7s, wallets, 2 3x5s (I mean what size is this anyways, who has a 3x5 frame? RIP OFF), and the disc! Luckily it was a good picture because they choose the "best" in their opinion. I think it was perfect! Check him out below.

I immediately put these pictures in my frames and almost got teary eyed in doing so. Why you ask? Because this time next year I will have a 16 month old that will be walking and getting into all sorts of trouble with the ornaments on the tree. I just know that when I pull out my special 2010 Christmas frame with Holt's first Santa picture in it, I will cry. I will be all nostalgic and sad about how quickly time has gone by. He won't be my itty bitty baby anymore. But enough of that, for this year I get to enjoy my itty bitty baby!

Mom Question-Change in Schedule

Ok Mommies, help me out. I'm following my sister in laws lead and turning to you bloggers for tips.

Holt is changing his schedule up on me and I don't know what to do! He's been on a 3 hour schedule since he was born and now he's more like 3-4 hours, which is fine. The biggest question is what to do for bedtime. He needs to be going down around 7:30 or 8 at the very latest. 9 is just too late for him and I'm certain he would sleep better if he could go to bed earlier. We haven't introduced cereal yet, waiting awhile longer, but I'm thinking that might be the answer. As of now I feed him around 5:30 or 6 and then again before he gets ready for bed which sometimes isn't until 9. He needs to have already been in bed but he'll never make it if his last feeding is at 6. If I introduced cereal, I could still keep that one feeding at 6 and give him cereal while we eat, then he can get ready for bed. Right? What are some tips for moving his bedtime up while satisfying his belly at the same time? I just feel like he is so so so tired and a nap around 7:30 seems pointless to me. What did you do? Or what have you heard from others?

Holt is 4 months!

Already! He's just about to start marking off more and more milestones. Holt is 14lbs 10oz (50%) and 26in (75%). He's a very very happy baby. He's rarely fussy, smiles all the time, laughs out loud when I laugh out loud and when I dance, screams loudly (Daddy doesn't think it's normal a little boy should scream that loud), and is such a joy. He's still not rolling over, but the doctor says that is normal because he is taller than most babies. His little muscles have to work extra hard to get him over, but he should be rolling over within the month. He's so so so close it just takes a finger poke to get him over. He is still exclusively given breastmilk (patting myself on the back for that one) although we will introduce cereal when we feel he is ready. The doctor says he is ready to give it shot, but I want to see him really interested in us eating. Therefore, I put up his high chair so he could start to sit with us at meal time. Here are a few more facts about the Holtster.


Facts
-Size 2 diapers
-6 month clothes
-Still eats every 2.5-3 hours
-Sleeps from 9pm-6am on average

Likes
-Grabbing things from us when held in front of him (immediately goes into his mouth)
-Shaking his rattle ball
-Watching Mommy and Daddy make fools of themselves trying to get him to laugh
-Recently taken an interest in Bentley
-Laying on the floor talking, cooing, screaming
-Watching TV
-Making gurgling razz sounds
-Smiling
-Following me wherever I go
-Looking at himself in the mirror
-The toy on his carseat the straps from side to side
-His lovie
-Grabbing the toys on his activity mat
-Loves grabbing at his feet
-Bathtime
-Reading books

DISlikes
-Going in his carseat, especially when overly exhausted
-Bentley barking
-Staying still
-Getting his PJs on
-Being on his tummy, but getting better

Overall he's very happy and doesn't dislike a whole lot. Everyday is more and more fun with him. He brings the ultimate happiness to our lives. The second I see him smile at me when I go pick him up in the mornings is the highlight of my day as a Mommy. There is just nothing better than the feeling of being a Mom to a happy little boy.

One year ago...

One year ago, my way of thinking changed forever. One year ago, my life changed forever. One year ago, I saw 2 pink lines! I was frustrated that I had not started my period yet since we were trying to conceive. How was I going to know when I was within "the window"? As we prepared to go out of town for Thanksgiving I told Kyle I was going to take a test just to be sure. Normally he rolled his eyes at me and would say, "You're not pregnant." This time he said, "I think that's a good idea." I completely forgot to take the test before I left for work that morning. I left work early so we could get on the road early. I was home about 10 minutes before Kyle and I finished getting my things together. I remembered, "Oh yeah, gotta take that test!" We knew the Holidays would hold drinking and socializing with friends and family, so we wanted to make sure I was in the clear. I took the test. Then I got distracted by packing and remembered I needed to go look at it. I picked it up and nearly passed out. I didn't know whether I want to laugh or cry or scream. The first "person" I told? BENTLEY! "Oh my gosh Bentley, Mommy is pregnant!" It felt weird to say it out loud. I called the doctor and told them about the test and asked them what I needed to do next. Since we were going out of town I had to wait until the following Monday to go get my blood work done.

I had about 2 minutes to figure out how to tell Kyle the good news. I always thought I could have planned something really special for him but I didn't have time. Then the garage door opened, what was I going to say? I put the test in my pocket. When he walked in I couldn't help myself and I pulled it out saying, "This week just got really interesting!" He was so happy. We were in complete shock as we got on the road that day. We also knew we would not be telling anyone, not even family, until after the first sonogram. We wanted to make sure everything was going well first. So we had 4 hours in the car to talk about how we were going to pull off fake drinking, baby names, the nursery, and what our lives would be like this time next year.

Here we are one year later and as I write this, my little boy is laying on the floor playing with his toys, cooing, talking, smiling, and making his new favorite razzing sound. What a difference a year makes!