Validation

Us Moms are so hard on ourselves, we really are. If you're like me you go to bed every night wondering if you gave your child enough vegetables that day, particularly green ones, or if you should have read a couple more books, or tried harder to teach them the difference between blue and green while secretly trying to figure out if they are color blind at an early age. What, no? Just me? Didn't think so. Or maybe you should have reviewed those animal sounds one more time because gosh darnit why can't he say MOOO or OOOHHH OOOHHH AAAHH AAAHH like a monkey, after all it is his favorite animal. It's no wonder we can't find time for ourselves, our thoughts are consumed by those special special, all time consuming children God placed in our lives. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it for anything. Once you go through all the "I should have dones" you move onto the "what did I do's" and again, like me, you draw a huge blank. You promise tomorrow will be different and you won't waste a second after breakfast jumping onto those ABC's and colors. I have even told myself, "Maybe I should set aside an hour to 'teach' him, like he is homeschooled." What, that's crazy, isn't it?

Here's the deal, they are learning all day and you are teaching all day. I came across this article on Facebook this afternoon, yeah so what I was using my free time on Facebook. Another promise I make to myself everyday that I WILL NOT waste my time doing. I'm glad I took the time to read it because for once it summed up how I felt. I had validation as a mom. Forget that the article even says anything about stay at home moms, this goes for all moms. I've been the working mom too and I admit, I was not good at it. I was great at my job, ok as a mom, and terrible as a wife. I had to see the bigger picture and now, no matter what it takes, I will stay home with my children. Another blog entirely, and I digress. Anywho, this article has the validation I have been looking for. Every single word of it is the truth and I could not have said it better myself.

Typical scenario: I have to be somewhere at 10, I tell myself we will leave at 9:45 (is it strange I give myself 15 minutes to get anywhere, even if I clearly know it is more than 15 minutes away? It's like as long as I leave earlier than I am supposed to be there, I feel good about it.) I realize at 9:45 I have not filled up his sippy cup with 3/4 water and 1/4 apple juice. He is suddenly in a I want to be held mood. My 2 hands are down to one. Somehow I must get his snack, goldfish or cheerios, in his snack cup without him pitching a fit because I won't give it to him at that moment. I distract him by asking him questions, "Where is Bentley?" "Did you hear that bird?" "If you're happy and you know it..." Ok, the snack is ready. He sees the snack, tantrum begins, I give in and give him a couple goldfish at 9:51 in the morning. I throw my purse on, grab his monkey backpack. Where is his favorite book? We have to have it for the car ride. I find his book. I'm now carrying my 21pound child, snacks (out of view), my purse...where are his shoes? Nope not upstairs, not under the couch, oh yea, the shoes are in the car. I grab the sippy cup with my one finger left. Ugh, the dog needs to be put up. I'll put Holt down, nope he's not having it. I run upstairs with my arms full, put Bentley in his house and try not to set anything down along the way because I WILL forget it. To the car we go. Throw some of the stuff in the front seat, keep snacks out of sight, get him in the car seat. He's pitching a fit because he wants to watch the DVD player that I only allow on road trips. Hand him the book. Get in the front seat, look at the clock when I start the car...10:03. This happens every single time. I'm ALWAYS late. This was just a mere 15-20 minutes of my day. Every little thing takes much longer than anticipated.

I have thought about this a lot since I've been a mom and that is the fact that this little person is going to learn how to speak a language, mostly from me. This little person is going to learn please and thank yous and great manners, even though I can admit I may not have the best manners. I burp at the dinner table, sorry Mom. Will I get onto him for burping at the dinner table, absolutely. I guess I better change my ways...soon. The point is this, without realizing what we did on a daily basis, that little person learned something. Day in and day out, they are learning and you are teaching. I know some great mommies out there and we all talk about this frequently. You are doing a great job and your babies think you are doing a great job. We all need to give ourselves a lot more credit for what it takes to be a mom. It is the hardest job in the world. Even on days when you have a total blast at it. This blog has gone on for awhile, my apologies. Two glasses of well deserved wine will do that to a blog post.

Sleep tight, and instead questioning yourself...thank God for giving you the opportunity. Now someone remind me that I need to do that too.