Jett Paul's Baptism

Jett was baptized by the Lutheran church on February 17th. We celebrated at my in laws in San Antonio with a light lunch and cake with friends and family. We are overjoyed that his Godparents, Clayton and Jenny Benedict, are going to be part of his life forever. Clayton and Kyle have been lifelong friends (since elementary) and it's such an honor to have this wonderful couple as Jett's Godparents. Choosing them was a no-brainer. I suggested it to Kyle shortly after Jett was born. I ran it by both sets of parents and even our siblings to make sure it was ok first. Everyone agreed Clayton and Jenny would be a phenomenal choice! My sister said, "I'm already an Aunt, I don't need another title!" Touche, touche. We enjoy sending them pictures of Jett in his day to day life and love that we even live in the same city. Well if Katy and The Woodlands can be considered the same city. In other words, we are not that far apart should we want to get together. Thank you to Paula (my mother in law) for her wonderful hospitality in getting the lunch ready for us following the Baptism and all the other wonderful things you do for us to make special occasions like this so memorable!

Family pic with Pastor Jason and The Benedicts, Jett's Godparents

My wonderful In Laws and Jett's Papa and Lala

Jett and his Meme

Us with GG, Jett's Great Grandma

Clayton and Jenny with their Godson

Jett is (5) 6 months old!

I didn't forget about his 5 month blog, I just didn't get around to it. Plus not a whole lot changed from 4-5 months except for him starting to roll over. On February 4th he decided to become a full time roller over, both ways! For days he was doing this, mostly rolling from back to tummy. And then...he stopped. Ha! He decided now that he had mastered the skill there was no need for it anymore. After taking a two week hiatus, with an occasional roll here and there he decided to pick it up again a couple weeks ago and now he hasn't stopped since. He's starting to work on sitting up, although I am not comfortable with it unless I am directly behind him. His belly pulls him forward and he can really throw himself backwards when he is doing something he would rather not be doing. It's just a matter of time before he figures it out. It will be a whole new world for him and his brother when he can start to sit up alone. Holt just loves to play with him no matter what, so each little milestone will make it easier and easier for them to play together. Due to the passing of my Great Aunt Marolyn last week, I did not get to take him for his checkup. Kyle did! Finally Daddy gets to see how awful those shots are for a parent to witness. His stats are:

18lbs 5oz (70%)
27" (72%)
Head 17.5" Normally I could care less about this stat, but I feel like this kid has a huge head so I was actually surprised to see it was only in the 70%.
6-9 month clothes (I really have to squeeze him in the 6 months)
Size 3 diapers

He was exclusively breastfed until we started solids, and by solids I mean rice cereal, on Feb 24th. He wasn't too sure at first, but now we can't feed him fast enough. Sometimes he grabs the spoon and shoves it in his mouth himself if we let it linger too long. We started veggies last week after being on cereal twice a day for 2 weeks. We started with squash, he loved it, then green beans, he loved it, now we're on sweet potatoes, loves them. He has cereal in the AM and cereal and a veggie at dinnertime. We will start fruit, probably bananas, sometime this week. I am just hoping he turns out to be a better eater than his brother. So far so good! We're in a transitional time for his schedule. Just when you figure it out, it changes again. He is getting better about going 12 hours stretches, but they are not guaranteed by any means. For the most part, here is what it is like day to day:

5-6:00am Morning Feeding, back to bed. He's not ready to be up for the day before 7:30 or 8 I have learned when I keep him up if he wakes up between 6-7. And neither am I since Holt sleeps until 8...
8:30- Morning Feeding and cereal
10am-Morning Nap, typically 1hr 15min, occasionally longer or shorter, that's average
11:30-Feeding
1:30 or 2-Afternoon nap, typically 1hr 15min. Finally coincides with Holt's nap!
3:00 or 3:30-Feeding
5pm-Evening cat nap, 30min
Sometimes he nurses in here, but I've been cutting it out lately and he doesn't seem to mind
6:30- Cereal for dinner
7:30- Bedtime and he is ready for bed!

I've reached my 6 month goal of breastfeeding and I plan on continuing until that first tooth appears, no signs yet, or he is just impossible to nurse which is what happened with Holt around 8 or 9 months. I have no intentions of going an entire year, I'm good when he wants to stop. He bites me with his gums now and that is unbearable, I can't imagine what an actual tooth would be like! I pump before I go to bed, therefore I have half a freezer full of milk. I am reminded of why I do this, as big of a pain as it is, when things come up like they did last week. I had to abruptly leave town for 2.5 days to attend the funeral for my Great Aunt. Even in my absence, he continued to get breast milk. I pumped 4 times a day while I was gone to maintain my supply and replenish what was being used while I was gone, although I have more than enough. Kyle and I have a few more trips coming up so I will continue the pumping at night so that he is sure to have enough milk when I am gone.

Jett currently loves:
-Bathtime
-His brother
-Lovies
-His fingers, feet, and toes
-Peekaboo
-Funny sounds
-Cuddling with Kyle (more so than with Mommy)
-Grabbing anything in front of him
-Being held (spoiled a bit)

He does not dislike much at all, can't even thing of one thing really. He's even better in the car because he just stares at Holt the entire time. One positive of having a sibling next to you!

He is my chubby wubby squishy wishy love muffin and I love everything about him! He is just so happy at this age. Absolutely anything will him smile or laugh and it's just such a joy.

Holt is 2.5!

 "But none of them will ever love you the way I do, it's me and you, boy"

I'm really not quite sure where this half of year has gone. Oh yes I am, taking care of an active 2 year old AND an infant. I can't even believe that in 5 months, Holt will be a 3 year old. 3 is so much older than 2!!! Since Holt turned 2 he has become super talkative. I am seriously impressed by his communication skills. He has a memory like you wouldn't believe, not always a good thing, and his vocabulary grows by the day. He says some of the funniest things, wouldn't you know I can't remember most of them as I type this. Here are a few of my favs:

Holt Sayings:

• "Make Holt sick, have to go to the hopitiable"-When he doesn't want to eat something I have given him to try
• "It's too fit Mommy!"- When something is too big, or small to go somewhere. He must have combined "Too big" with "it doesn't fit".
• "Holt loooove..."- Holt loves a lot of things. Holt love candy, Holt love cookies, Holt love grapes, etc.
• "I'm alake now!" He means awake.
• "Kix it please."-Fix it please
• "Uh oh, what happened?
• "Ooops, almost forgot my bines!" He means vitamins.

Holt looooooves:

• All things Toy Story. Even refers to himself in 3rd person as Buzz Lightyear.
• Being a nakey boy, I can barely keep clothes on him
• Reading. He can pretty much memorize a book and read it back after a couple of times of us reading it to him.
• Pretending. He pretends to cook. He pretends his toys are doing what he has seen them do on Toy Story. Pretends to take care of his "babies" which are all his stuffed animals. He has such a great imagination!
• Cause and effect stories. If I do this then I can't/can do this, and then I, and Mommy will be...He makes up stories all the time.
• Naming things and knowing what people's or animals names are
• Squishing Mommy
• Wrestling with Daddy (AKA jumping on Kyle as hard as he can) 
• Putting his stuffed animals in timeout for "not listening to me!" He's quite the disciplinarian.
• Being chased
• Helping me cook
• Singing...anything

Holt had a 2.5 year checkup also. No shots, just a quick meeting with the Doctor to see how he is doing. He was so good during his checkup.  Here are his stats:

28lbs 4oz (32%)
36.25" (50%)

As you can see he is very skinny. If his eating habits do not improve by age 3, the doctor said we will possibly need to attend a Feeding Disorder clinic. Because his percentage was up from 25%, he was not that worried. He fully expects him to grow out of this by then. I on the other hand am not so sure since he has been this way since he started table foods. He lives on crackers, fruit, and milk pretty much. I have kept him on whole milk for the fat and calories. He will not eat meat, beans, rice, pasta, veggies, pizza, chicken nuggets, mac n cheese, hot dogs, or any of the basic toddler diet staples. I have to give him pediasure several times a week to make sure he is getting enough calories and protein that day. The doctor told me to continue this.

He is truly a well behaved little boy. We get frustrated with him because he is so good so often, that when he does act out we almost don't know how to handle it because we feel he knows better. I have to remind myself that he is only 2. Almost everything is a struggle or a fight though. Diaper changes take 5 minutes. Telling him he needs to get dressed or put his shoes on results in a meltdown nearly every time. Telling him it's time to eat also results in tantrums. He's pretty good at tantrums, and I'm pretty good about ignoring them so they don't last long. He absolutely loves playing! He can play quietly in his room so I don't have to worry about him. When he is playing outside, I do require him to tell me when he is going in the grass, meaning he's going to his playset. I have to be out there with him for obvious reasons. He only thinks he can climb the monkey bars. He tells me every single time too. He's so good sometimes that I have a lot of trust that he is doing what he is supposed to be doing! He is free to play on his trampoline which is currently on our porch and within sight of the living room when he is behaving well. I try not to hover too much and I think that is why he is able to play so well independently. He does love when I play with him too of course. We play Buzz Lightyear and Zurg. Basically I fall down when he aims his "laser" at me. He almost always requires a dance partner, prefers that to dancing alone. I'm happy to ablige. I could go on and on, and I probably should so that I always remember how much fun we are having together at this age. Don't get me wrong, we have our moments. We spend ALOT of time together, it's bound to happen. He's a 2 year old boy and everyday I'm terrified he is going to hurt himself badly! I do love that we can have conversations that make sense, it's such a joy as a parent to see him becoming this little person. His teacher just sings his praises at school. So many times she has told me that he always listens to her, even looks around at the other kids like "why aren't you over here doing what she just asked." He follows directions well. Recently she sent home a list of things the 2 year olds need to work on and she told me to disregard the list because it did not apply to Holt. Say what? Talk about a huge compliment to Kyle and I as parents.

We have not fully jumped into potty training with him for several reasons. I needed to keep as much of my sanity as possible after we brought Jett home and while dealing with his colic. Holt shows nearly every sign of potty training, but I've been waiting for a big one...that his dirty diapers bother him. He went through a brief phase where this happened and he took his diaper off himself and waited for me to change him, even found him standing in the toilet once with you know what everywhere! I also did not want him to regress since he sees me changing Jett all the time. Anywho, we plan on working on it soon and I expect him to be trained with no problem by his 3rd birthday.

He is truly a wonderful big brother. I expected to see some jealousy on his part since we spent so much time together, but there hasn't been any. He absolutely adores Jett! He is always wanting to help out with him and tries to make him laugh. I have yet to see him act out towards him in any way. Holt actually got really upset the one time he accidentally hurt him. I no longer have to worry about if Jett is ok if I leave the room to go to the restroom. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter big brother for him.

We absolutely adore our oldest boy!  

Jett is 4 months!

Shocking, I'm behind on another blog. It's amazing how I used to come into the office as soon as Holt went down for nap and I could stay here the entire time doing "stuff". Now, I'm lucky to get into the office more than twice a week. I was intentionally waiting to write Jett's blog until we went to the doctor for his checkup, that was just a few days ago. His pediatrician is always booked so far in advance that I still find it hard to get him around his actual monthly bday even when I call a month ahead of time. So here is a lil bit about my sweet chubby baby at 4 months.

Stats: 
16lbs 8oz (75%)
26.5in (90%)
Size 3 diapers
6month clothes, about ready for 9 *gasp!*

Likes

• His big brother. Nothing sweeter than seeing him smile at Holt in sheer delight.
• Daddy's silly faces and sounds
• Itsy Bitsy Spider and pat cake
• Exersaucer (his hand eye coordination is so good!)
• His Mommy, of course
• His football
• His fingers and sucking his thumb (also a bit of a hair twirler when he's not ripping it out on accident)
• Lights
• Baths and bedtime
• Getting undressed, I don't know why but he laughs and smiles the whole time
• Morris the Moose that hangs from his carseat

Dislikes

• Getting ready for a nap (cries when I "get him in postion" in my arms, quickly realizes I'm the one that's right)
• Car seat, but has greatly improved in the past month
• Holt's loud screams

There really isn't much this lil man doesn't like these days. The 4 month mark has been a huge turning point for him. He's finally on a schedule. I've seriously been working on this with him since he was 2 weeks old. Holt fell into a schedule very easily, Jett has been a huge challenge. Just goes to show that even when you do the exact same thing and know what you are doing...all babies are different. We also no longer use the soothie. As I mentioned before, I was terrified of the habit. He hasn't missed it at all since he found his thumb. Ha! I hope I don't have a thumb sucking toddler, but time will tell on that one. And he only sucks it for a few moments at nap time or to soothe himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. The colic has finally subsided completely, but he is still ready for bed around 7:30.  Don't mess with that. I am happy to say he is napping better during the day and has even had several 12 hour stretches at night. (Something Holt didn't do until around 7 months.) He averages about one a week but for the most part wakes up sometime between 4-6 to eat and goes back to sleep until 8ish most days. That makes me happy because that is when Holt gets up too. It's still rare if they nap at the same time each day, but it happens every now and then. Here is Jett's current schedule, roughly:

8am- Morning feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (typically his long nap hour and a half to 2hrs, shorter if we are out)
11:30- Feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (45min-1hr and a half nap)
2:30- Feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (Evening cat nap)
5:30-Feeding
7pm Bath and get ready for bed (bathes every other night)
Feeding, and night night!

You don't know how good it feels to finally be able to type out his schedule! Where I used to leave the house to run an errand around the time he would fall asleep, now I try to run the errand when he is awake so he can sleep in his bed. He sleeps much better there than when we are out and about. Trying to stick to both of their schedules, also makes me a crazy person. I should just relax a little more, but I can't. It's been so hard to get Jett set on his routine, that I don't want to mess it up...ever. This has also caused me to become a hermit in my home and made life a little gloomy for me. It's hard to stay home everyday! I'm finally feeling a little better. The past month was hard for some reason. I've just been questioning a lot about myself and my worth, but that's another post for another day. I know time is just flying by and people always want it to slow down, but to be honest, I am happy these 4 months are over! It was really tough at some times. A colicky baby is no joke! Even during the hard days, he was still a little ray of light in the day. He just smiles nonstop and is so incredibly happy. His whole face lights up when he smiles. I could just kiss his chubby cheeks all day, and I do! He is so close to rolling over, I just really think he chooses not to because he hates being on his stomach. I would too if it was that big! He gets up on his side and just stays there. Then he goes back down and uses his feet to scoot. He's on the move without actually rolling. He did roll from tummy to back once, but I can't count that since it is not happening all the time.

The bond between he and Holt is growing by the day and I cannot wait to see these two grow up and become best buds. We love you Jett!

I'm about done with you Facebook

I have loved Facebook since it started. Kyle has always made fun of me for it and probably wished I didn't spend so much time on it. Partially his fault, he insisted I get an iPhone which makes it just soooo easy to get on whenever I want! He doesn't get it. Lately, I don't get it either. The more it changes, the more annoyed I get. I know I know, it's a free service. We can't complain about what's free and what is out of our control. I'm not talking about the format or timeline or newsfeed changes over the years, I think all of those complaints are a little silly. We have all adapted haven't we? And guess what, we will adapt when it happens again.

I'm about done with it because it is depressing me. For the very reason that Facebook is wonderful, it's also the very reason it is so dang sad. It's wonderful that people can create a page and ask perfect strangers to pray. It's wonderful that you can suddenly be linked to a blog that makes you more aware of safety for your children. It's wonderful you can spread the word about a missing child or pet. It's wonderful you can come together as one unified group in a sad time in our Nation's history. It's wonderfully...depressing. My prayer list has grown so long I can't possibly remember all the awful stories I read on Facebook that day on top of praying for my own family and loved ones. I certainly try to remember them and quickly say a prayer when I see the words "Please say a prayer..." Heck I've even done it myself. I am beginning to feel guilty that I can't pray for everyone! So what do I do? Not pray for them at all? Choose the less awful story and try to remember to pray for them? It's too much, it's all too much. On top of that, I'm becoming a super paranoid Mom. It's hard enough to get through the day as a Mom worrying about the health and safety of your child without suddenly thinking your child is pulling his dresser on top of him at naptime because you have the monitor switched on camera 2 in the baby's room. Or your baby may not be reaching milestones because of some one in a billion disease you read about another baby having. Or thinking a fun bounce on the trampoline could result in a concussion or a leisurely swing on the playset could result in death. You already think horrible thoughts as a mom, we don't need the reminder. Gosh, this probably sounds horrible. It's great that so many people can come together for the sake of someone they have not met, don't get me wrong. What about everyone else? Everyone else's page that has not gone viral for some unknown reason? I think of these awful things all day. It's really sad. Here is one looney example of how it has made my mind think. Last week Holt hit his head on 4 different occasions in one afternoon. I heard him crying again when Kyle was getting him ready for bed. I heard Kyle say, "Don't do that! Are you ok?" When I asked what happened he told me that Holt had whipped his head back so hard that it scared him and hurt him. Crazy mom thought: Holt was internally decapitated and could possibly suffocate in his sleep. I mean what? That's crazy, right? Oh but it's not because I read a story like that one time. I checked on him more than a newborn that night. It's not healthy.

Don't get me started on the political posts, you people need twitter. But quite honestly, I'm not going to complain about it because I just skim right over anything I don't find interesting. I actually don't mind the sports posts. Most the time I can tell Kyle what happened in a game before he can even turn SportsCenter on. Therefore I can continue watching what I want to watch. And I'm sorry for all my friends that partake in this, I totally get why you do it, but I'm so over it. All the direct selling mavens out there bettering their lives one skin cream, statement necklace, and smelly wax cube at a time...AHHHHHHHH! There, I said it. As much as I want to believe this is the route for me to bring in some extra dough, it's really hard to believe it when 10 of you have (verbatim) the exact same status update, picture posted, and thank you posted all within a few hours of each other. I said I get it, doesn't mean I want to see it. I understand it's the best way to spark people's attention. I'd be lying if I said it didn't spark mine a time or two.

So Facebook, I'm over you. I want to see special announcements and people's kids. I want to see funny stories and over the top status updates from my sister. I want to see funny things your kids say. I actually kinda like the food pictures. I want to see happy things. I want to think happy thoughts. I also understand many people on Facebook hate, the things I just listed. So why are we "friends" anyways? Here's why I won't actually ever be able to leave it completely. What would I do during the 2+ hours a day I spend feeding my baby? I don't know why I need the validation of a "like" on something from a friend of friend I met one time at a wedding, but I do. I can't quit you, but I do so badly wish it could go back to a simpler time. The world is already scary, Facebook makes it scarier. At some point I think I will have to cut back, for my own sanity, and it will be a challenge. I'm willing to bet, I'll be able to go through my day just fine. I just might have to start hearing news from the people that matter straight from their mouths. What an idea, huh?

Jett is 3 months!

Ok, so he was like 2 weeks ago. I can't decide if I am busy or lazy. I say I don't have time for anything because I don't. Then when I do get a spare moment, I do nothing but sit still. Busy or lazy, you decide. Jett holds my heart in the palm of his hand. He is by far more difficult than Holt was in many ways, but something about his chubby face with dimples and how he just absolutely loves his mommy, makes me so happy to just see his face. Every night before bed I am so glad that it is bedtime, but when I hear him in the morning, I can't wait to see him. That lil guy just has my heart. He is laughing now and it's the cutest. It's always short lived because after 2-3 big laughs the hiccups begin. I almost feel bad making him laugh because he pays for it for 15 minutes! If mommy isn't the one catching his eye, it's his big brother. He just loves to watch him. He also loves to watch tv. I didn't provoke this, he just moves his head until he can see it. I'm getting the hang of this two kid thing and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of splitting my attention. I say this because Holt hasn't lashed out or done anything crazy to try and earn some attention back. If he wants me and I'm holding Jett, he sometimes asks me to put him down. As long as Jett is fine with that (not hungry or sleepy), so I am I.
Jett is an absolutely horrible car rider and errand runner with me. He hates the car and his carseat and hates running errands unless he is asleep. He doesn't sleep very soundly, so transferring him from the car to stroller, or anywhere for that matter without waking him up, is almost impossible, . He's even in his carrier the whole time. As soon as he gets in his carseat, the screaming begins and it usually doesn't stop. This is why I feel like I never get out of the house. It's miserable when I do! He still does not sleep much during the day. Some days he sleeps less than 2 hours combined over 3-4 naps. Others I have counted as being less than 1.5hrs ALL DAY. I've tried every location in our house with the swing being the most successful. As nice as it is that he sleeps here, I'm not about to make it a habit. I'm totally against sleep aids. He is ready for bed by 7 or 7:30 and you better not try and keep him out past his bedtime or you will pay for it. Even if I still follow the 3 hour schedule of wake, eat, play sleep...he can't be tricked. He must go to bed around that time. I feed him before I go to bed around 11 and he sleeps until sometime between 4-6, 4:30 seems about average. This feeding typically keeps him satisfied until 8 or later most days. Although I would rather have him fed around 7:30. For some reason that time really sets a good pace for the day. I'm hoping he starts to settle into a better nap cycle during the day soon. I know he needs it and Lord knows I do!

It's true, every baby is different. Holt never wanted a soothie, ever. Jett is kind of a fan. I don't force it by any means, but he is one of those baby's that needs to suck. When he starts to get tired, he roots around like he is hungry, but he isn't. He just needs to suck on his soothie for a few minutes and he is lulled off to sleepyland. I don't let him sleep with it in his mouth. I'm terrified of a pacifier habit and I plan on being in control of it! Ha. I'm going to start breaking the habit by 4 months even if that means more difficult nap and bed times temporarily.

As far as milestones, we haven't hit any major ones just yet. I don't see rolling over happening anytime soon because he absolutely cannot stand tummy time. And confession time, I only put him on his tummy once a day or so because it's so painful to watch him. He buries his face and moves his head around violently and starts to cry almost immediately. I wait for him to stop so I can see how he is improving, but he never does so I have to flip him back. He loves laying on his back and I try to work with him rolling side to side instead. I'm sure he will roll over at some point so I am not going to worry about it. He can lift himself up for a few seconds, then it's back to face burying.

Jett facts:
Size 2 diapers
Size 6 month cloths

Jett loves:
Smiling and laughing
Mommy
His playmat
Watching Holt
Sucking something while grabbing his hair
His swing
Bath time
Lights and ceiling fans
Facing the way where everything is going on

Jett does not love:
The car
His carseat
His brother's screaming
Naps
Facing the wall
Being on his tummy
Evening time

I don't have many pictures right now, I'll add them later. I just got a new computer and I do not have any on here yet. I just love this chunky monkey and I am so in love with his sweetness.

The Truth

I've been known for my honesty, especially on topics like marriage and motherhood. I don't like to sugar coat it. Most the time I am praised for it, although I am sure there are other times people can't believe I just spilled the beans and tell how it really is. At this point in our lives I think we all know that life isn't rainbows and butterflies. So here it is, this is how you picture yourself being a mom:

And when you are brave enough to admit that isn't realistic, this is how you really feel as a mom:

I had a conversation recently with some friends about how we aren't the types of moms we pictured ourselves being. Insert *round of applause* to all of us for admitting that. It's not easy. No one can tell you why it's not easy, it just isn't. But is it also magical and the most wonderful feeling in the world? Absolutely. From birth on up, every age has it's ups and downs. From "How exciting, my baby can walk!" to "Holy shit, I just watched my kid fall down the stairs!"  Yeah, that happened a couple weeks ago. We both ended up in tears. Today we both ended up in tears again. He wasn't getting his way and I reached a breaking point. I have an infant that does not sleep during the day. I am shocked shitless if he sleeps longer than 45 minutes at any given point during the day. Yesterday we managed to all take a nap, the first time this has happened in 10 weeks. I paid for it by being wide awake at 2:45 this am and stayed that way. I digress. I have an infant that does not nap, a 2 year that does not eat, and my patience is virtually non-existent. When Holt is tired, he's a mess, a disaster, a nightmare to deal with. He can't function, he can't seem to hear me correct him, and he melts down at absolutely nothing. Jett, characteristic of an infant, cries when he is tired. Holt purposely wakes Jett up when he sees him dozing off or sees him asleep anywhere. Come dinner time when I am supposed to be getting it together before Kyle gets home, I can't breathe from the stress of a 2 year old yelling at me to help cook (which any day now is going to end up in a burned hand or busted head from falling off the counter) and a screaming infant who just won't sleep! I hate dinner time. Kyle and I generally spend the entire time yelling at Holt to eat while he pushes anything and everything away saying "Holt don't like it." all the while trying to calm a crying, exhausted Jett. So that's the truth.

The truth is that you will yell more than you think you will ever yell at someone who can barely speak English. Someone that no matter how much you yell, still wants you to kiss him goodnight and scratch his back.

The truth is you will find yourself getting frustrated by a 14lb being that can do nothing but cry to express feelings. Someone that will make your day better with a single smile just because they see your face or giggle because you said something in a funny tone.

The truth is you will freak out because your kid is not eating or you think he ate too much sugar that day. Someone that deserves an M&M cookie because nothing can replace how his face lights up at the mere mention of helping mommy make cookies.

The truth is you will consider starting your own HH at 3pm...but you'll get past it and instead reward yourself with ice cream that night, but not all the time. Sometimes you do need the wine.

The truth is that the slow motion picture you have of yourself and your kid on a carousel smiling and laughing is a short lived 2 minute ride. But those 2 minutes are absolute bliss that often overshadow the meltdown in the candy store.

The truth is that you will make you kid cry. Whether it's by yelling at their older sibling and scaring the bejesus out of them or by just losing your cool and just yelling to yell. But when your kid cries, they still want you to kiss it and make it better...and you will...and you will end up feeling bad an apologizing.

The truth is you will take 20 pictures trying to get that special moment you picture and you will get mad when they don't cooperate. You tell yourself you didn't get any and will delete them all. You will have a hard time deleting any in fear you won't even get that little moment back again.

The truth is you will feel like a bad mom...more than you will feel like a good mom. Someone, anyone, will tell you the little person that is driving you up the wall is smart, and funny, and sweet all because of you.

It's hard. It's wonderful. It sucks. It's the best. It's exhausting. It's invigorating. It's sad. It's happy. It's motherhood.

Facebook is an enemy, one I cannot get away from because I still love it. It's full of pictures of flowers from amazing husbands who sent them "just because". Probably "just because" he was an asshole the night before. Or mom's that put some of their 1000+ pins on Pinterest to use and made that project you have been wanting to attempt, but you had to rush out of Hobby Lobby because of a screaming infant and forgot half the supplies. Hell no you aren't going back in that store again! Or kids that actually smile for a picture. A picture where someone behind the camera is saying "doodoo" to make that smile happen. Or mom's with a smile from ear to ear holding their kids, a mom that is secretly suffering from postpartum depression. Don't be fooled by what you see. I've been some of these things...life ain't always what it seems. But it's your life. So if you can't tell, I had a rough day. No matter how rough the day is, I always wake up a new person and a new mom who seems to forget what happened to day before. You have to. Everyday is different and everyday deserves to be cherished. These times don't last forever, and in 20 years, I'll give anything to go back to my hardest day just to have my kids be babies again.