Jett is 4 months!

Shocking, I'm behind on another blog. It's amazing how I used to come into the office as soon as Holt went down for nap and I could stay here the entire time doing "stuff". Now, I'm lucky to get into the office more than twice a week. I was intentionally waiting to write Jett's blog until we went to the doctor for his checkup, that was just a few days ago. His pediatrician is always booked so far in advance that I still find it hard to get him around his actual monthly bday even when I call a month ahead of time. So here is a lil bit about my sweet chubby baby at 4 months.

Stats: 
16lbs 8oz (75%)
26.5in (90%)
Size 3 diapers
6month clothes, about ready for 9 *gasp!*

Likes

• His big brother. Nothing sweeter than seeing him smile at Holt in sheer delight.
• Daddy's silly faces and sounds
• Itsy Bitsy Spider and pat cake
• Exersaucer (his hand eye coordination is so good!)
• His Mommy, of course
• His football
• His fingers and sucking his thumb (also a bit of a hair twirler when he's not ripping it out on accident)
• Lights
• Baths and bedtime
• Getting undressed, I don't know why but he laughs and smiles the whole time
• Morris the Moose that hangs from his carseat

Dislikes

• Getting ready for a nap (cries when I "get him in postion" in my arms, quickly realizes I'm the one that's right)
• Car seat, but has greatly improved in the past month
• Holt's loud screams

There really isn't much this lil man doesn't like these days. The 4 month mark has been a huge turning point for him. He's finally on a schedule. I've seriously been working on this with him since he was 2 weeks old. Holt fell into a schedule very easily, Jett has been a huge challenge. Just goes to show that even when you do the exact same thing and know what you are doing...all babies are different. We also no longer use the soothie. As I mentioned before, I was terrified of the habit. He hasn't missed it at all since he found his thumb. Ha! I hope I don't have a thumb sucking toddler, but time will tell on that one. And he only sucks it for a few moments at nap time or to soothe himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. The colic has finally subsided completely, but he is still ready for bed around 7:30.  Don't mess with that. I am happy to say he is napping better during the day and has even had several 12 hour stretches at night. (Something Holt didn't do until around 7 months.) He averages about one a week but for the most part wakes up sometime between 4-6 to eat and goes back to sleep until 8ish most days. That makes me happy because that is when Holt gets up too. It's still rare if they nap at the same time each day, but it happens every now and then. Here is Jett's current schedule, roughly:

8am- Morning feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (typically his long nap hour and a half to 2hrs, shorter if we are out)
11:30- Feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (45min-1hr and a half nap)
2:30- Feeding
-Naps sometime an hour and a half to 2 hours later (Evening cat nap)
5:30-Feeding
7pm Bath and get ready for bed (bathes every other night)
Feeding, and night night!

You don't know how good it feels to finally be able to type out his schedule! Where I used to leave the house to run an errand around the time he would fall asleep, now I try to run the errand when he is awake so he can sleep in his bed. He sleeps much better there than when we are out and about. Trying to stick to both of their schedules, also makes me a crazy person. I should just relax a little more, but I can't. It's been so hard to get Jett set on his routine, that I don't want to mess it up...ever. This has also caused me to become a hermit in my home and made life a little gloomy for me. It's hard to stay home everyday! I'm finally feeling a little better. The past month was hard for some reason. I've just been questioning a lot about myself and my worth, but that's another post for another day. I know time is just flying by and people always want it to slow down, but to be honest, I am happy these 4 months are over! It was really tough at some times. A colicky baby is no joke! Even during the hard days, he was still a little ray of light in the day. He just smiles nonstop and is so incredibly happy. His whole face lights up when he smiles. I could just kiss his chubby cheeks all day, and I do! He is so close to rolling over, I just really think he chooses not to because he hates being on his stomach. I would too if it was that big! He gets up on his side and just stays there. Then he goes back down and uses his feet to scoot. He's on the move without actually rolling. He did roll from tummy to back once, but I can't count that since it is not happening all the time.

The bond between he and Holt is growing by the day and I cannot wait to see these two grow up and become best buds. We love you Jett!

I'm about done with you Facebook

I have loved Facebook since it started. Kyle has always made fun of me for it and probably wished I didn't spend so much time on it. Partially his fault, he insisted I get an iPhone which makes it just soooo easy to get on whenever I want! He doesn't get it. Lately, I don't get it either. The more it changes, the more annoyed I get. I know I know, it's a free service. We can't complain about what's free and what is out of our control. I'm not talking about the format or timeline or newsfeed changes over the years, I think all of those complaints are a little silly. We have all adapted haven't we? And guess what, we will adapt when it happens again.

I'm about done with it because it is depressing me. For the very reason that Facebook is wonderful, it's also the very reason it is so dang sad. It's wonderful that people can create a page and ask perfect strangers to pray. It's wonderful that you can suddenly be linked to a blog that makes you more aware of safety for your children. It's wonderful you can spread the word about a missing child or pet. It's wonderful you can come together as one unified group in a sad time in our Nation's history. It's wonderfully...depressing. My prayer list has grown so long I can't possibly remember all the awful stories I read on Facebook that day on top of praying for my own family and loved ones. I certainly try to remember them and quickly say a prayer when I see the words "Please say a prayer..." Heck I've even done it myself. I am beginning to feel guilty that I can't pray for everyone! So what do I do? Not pray for them at all? Choose the less awful story and try to remember to pray for them? It's too much, it's all too much. On top of that, I'm becoming a super paranoid Mom. It's hard enough to get through the day as a Mom worrying about the health and safety of your child without suddenly thinking your child is pulling his dresser on top of him at naptime because you have the monitor switched on camera 2 in the baby's room. Or your baby may not be reaching milestones because of some one in a billion disease you read about another baby having. Or thinking a fun bounce on the trampoline could result in a concussion or a leisurely swing on the playset could result in death. You already think horrible thoughts as a mom, we don't need the reminder. Gosh, this probably sounds horrible. It's great that so many people can come together for the sake of someone they have not met, don't get me wrong. What about everyone else? Everyone else's page that has not gone viral for some unknown reason? I think of these awful things all day. It's really sad. Here is one looney example of how it has made my mind think. Last week Holt hit his head on 4 different occasions in one afternoon. I heard him crying again when Kyle was getting him ready for bed. I heard Kyle say, "Don't do that! Are you ok?" When I asked what happened he told me that Holt had whipped his head back so hard that it scared him and hurt him. Crazy mom thought: Holt was internally decapitated and could possibly suffocate in his sleep. I mean what? That's crazy, right? Oh but it's not because I read a story like that one time. I checked on him more than a newborn that night. It's not healthy.

Don't get me started on the political posts, you people need twitter. But quite honestly, I'm not going to complain about it because I just skim right over anything I don't find interesting. I actually don't mind the sports posts. Most the time I can tell Kyle what happened in a game before he can even turn SportsCenter on. Therefore I can continue watching what I want to watch. And I'm sorry for all my friends that partake in this, I totally get why you do it, but I'm so over it. All the direct selling mavens out there bettering their lives one skin cream, statement necklace, and smelly wax cube at a time...AHHHHHHHH! There, I said it. As much as I want to believe this is the route for me to bring in some extra dough, it's really hard to believe it when 10 of you have (verbatim) the exact same status update, picture posted, and thank you posted all within a few hours of each other. I said I get it, doesn't mean I want to see it. I understand it's the best way to spark people's attention. I'd be lying if I said it didn't spark mine a time or two.

So Facebook, I'm over you. I want to see special announcements and people's kids. I want to see funny stories and over the top status updates from my sister. I want to see funny things your kids say. I actually kinda like the food pictures. I want to see happy things. I want to think happy thoughts. I also understand many people on Facebook hate, the things I just listed. So why are we "friends" anyways? Here's why I won't actually ever be able to leave it completely. What would I do during the 2+ hours a day I spend feeding my baby? I don't know why I need the validation of a "like" on something from a friend of friend I met one time at a wedding, but I do. I can't quit you, but I do so badly wish it could go back to a simpler time. The world is already scary, Facebook makes it scarier. At some point I think I will have to cut back, for my own sanity, and it will be a challenge. I'm willing to bet, I'll be able to go through my day just fine. I just might have to start hearing news from the people that matter straight from their mouths. What an idea, huh?

Jett is 3 months!

Ok, so he was like 2 weeks ago. I can't decide if I am busy or lazy. I say I don't have time for anything because I don't. Then when I do get a spare moment, I do nothing but sit still. Busy or lazy, you decide. Jett holds my heart in the palm of his hand. He is by far more difficult than Holt was in many ways, but something about his chubby face with dimples and how he just absolutely loves his mommy, makes me so happy to just see his face. Every night before bed I am so glad that it is bedtime, but when I hear him in the morning, I can't wait to see him. That lil guy just has my heart. He is laughing now and it's the cutest. It's always short lived because after 2-3 big laughs the hiccups begin. I almost feel bad making him laugh because he pays for it for 15 minutes! If mommy isn't the one catching his eye, it's his big brother. He just loves to watch him. He also loves to watch tv. I didn't provoke this, he just moves his head until he can see it. I'm getting the hang of this two kid thing and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of splitting my attention. I say this because Holt hasn't lashed out or done anything crazy to try and earn some attention back. If he wants me and I'm holding Jett, he sometimes asks me to put him down. As long as Jett is fine with that (not hungry or sleepy), so I am I.
Jett is an absolutely horrible car rider and errand runner with me. He hates the car and his carseat and hates running errands unless he is asleep. He doesn't sleep very soundly, so transferring him from the car to stroller, or anywhere for that matter without waking him up, is almost impossible, . He's even in his carrier the whole time. As soon as he gets in his carseat, the screaming begins and it usually doesn't stop. This is why I feel like I never get out of the house. It's miserable when I do! He still does not sleep much during the day. Some days he sleeps less than 2 hours combined over 3-4 naps. Others I have counted as being less than 1.5hrs ALL DAY. I've tried every location in our house with the swing being the most successful. As nice as it is that he sleeps here, I'm not about to make it a habit. I'm totally against sleep aids. He is ready for bed by 7 or 7:30 and you better not try and keep him out past his bedtime or you will pay for it. Even if I still follow the 3 hour schedule of wake, eat, play sleep...he can't be tricked. He must go to bed around that time. I feed him before I go to bed around 11 and he sleeps until sometime between 4-6, 4:30 seems about average. This feeding typically keeps him satisfied until 8 or later most days. Although I would rather have him fed around 7:30. For some reason that time really sets a good pace for the day. I'm hoping he starts to settle into a better nap cycle during the day soon. I know he needs it and Lord knows I do!

It's true, every baby is different. Holt never wanted a soothie, ever. Jett is kind of a fan. I don't force it by any means, but he is one of those baby's that needs to suck. When he starts to get tired, he roots around like he is hungry, but he isn't. He just needs to suck on his soothie for a few minutes and he is lulled off to sleepyland. I don't let him sleep with it in his mouth. I'm terrified of a pacifier habit and I plan on being in control of it! Ha. I'm going to start breaking the habit by 4 months even if that means more difficult nap and bed times temporarily.

As far as milestones, we haven't hit any major ones just yet. I don't see rolling over happening anytime soon because he absolutely cannot stand tummy time. And confession time, I only put him on his tummy once a day or so because it's so painful to watch him. He buries his face and moves his head around violently and starts to cry almost immediately. I wait for him to stop so I can see how he is improving, but he never does so I have to flip him back. He loves laying on his back and I try to work with him rolling side to side instead. I'm sure he will roll over at some point so I am not going to worry about it. He can lift himself up for a few seconds, then it's back to face burying.

Jett facts:
Size 2 diapers
Size 6 month cloths

Jett loves:
Smiling and laughing
Mommy
His playmat
Watching Holt
Sucking something while grabbing his hair
His swing
Bath time
Lights and ceiling fans
Facing the way where everything is going on

Jett does not love:
The car
His carseat
His brother's screaming
Naps
Facing the wall
Being on his tummy
Evening time

I don't have many pictures right now, I'll add them later. I just got a new computer and I do not have any on here yet. I just love this chunky monkey and I am so in love with his sweetness.

The Truth

I've been known for my honesty, especially on topics like marriage and motherhood. I don't like to sugar coat it. Most the time I am praised for it, although I am sure there are other times people can't believe I just spilled the beans and tell how it really is. At this point in our lives I think we all know that life isn't rainbows and butterflies. So here it is, this is how you picture yourself being a mom:

And when you are brave enough to admit that isn't realistic, this is how you really feel as a mom:

I had a conversation recently with some friends about how we aren't the types of moms we pictured ourselves being. Insert *round of applause* to all of us for admitting that. It's not easy. No one can tell you why it's not easy, it just isn't. But is it also magical and the most wonderful feeling in the world? Absolutely. From birth on up, every age has it's ups and downs. From "How exciting, my baby can walk!" to "Holy shit, I just watched my kid fall down the stairs!"  Yeah, that happened a couple weeks ago. We both ended up in tears. Today we both ended up in tears again. He wasn't getting his way and I reached a breaking point. I have an infant that does not sleep during the day. I am shocked shitless if he sleeps longer than 45 minutes at any given point during the day. Yesterday we managed to all take a nap, the first time this has happened in 10 weeks. I paid for it by being wide awake at 2:45 this am and stayed that way. I digress. I have an infant that does not nap, a 2 year that does not eat, and my patience is virtually non-existent. When Holt is tired, he's a mess, a disaster, a nightmare to deal with. He can't function, he can't seem to hear me correct him, and he melts down at absolutely nothing. Jett, characteristic of an infant, cries when he is tired. Holt purposely wakes Jett up when he sees him dozing off or sees him asleep anywhere. Come dinner time when I am supposed to be getting it together before Kyle gets home, I can't breathe from the stress of a 2 year old yelling at me to help cook (which any day now is going to end up in a burned hand or busted head from falling off the counter) and a screaming infant who just won't sleep! I hate dinner time. Kyle and I generally spend the entire time yelling at Holt to eat while he pushes anything and everything away saying "Holt don't like it." all the while trying to calm a crying, exhausted Jett. So that's the truth.

The truth is that you will yell more than you think you will ever yell at someone who can barely speak English. Someone that no matter how much you yell, still wants you to kiss him goodnight and scratch his back.

The truth is you will find yourself getting frustrated by a 14lb being that can do nothing but cry to express feelings. Someone that will make your day better with a single smile just because they see your face or giggle because you said something in a funny tone.

The truth is you will freak out because your kid is not eating or you think he ate too much sugar that day. Someone that deserves an M&M cookie because nothing can replace how his face lights up at the mere mention of helping mommy make cookies.

The truth is you will consider starting your own HH at 3pm...but you'll get past it and instead reward yourself with ice cream that night, but not all the time. Sometimes you do need the wine.

The truth is that the slow motion picture you have of yourself and your kid on a carousel smiling and laughing is a short lived 2 minute ride. But those 2 minutes are absolute bliss that often overshadow the meltdown in the candy store.

The truth is that you will make you kid cry. Whether it's by yelling at their older sibling and scaring the bejesus out of them or by just losing your cool and just yelling to yell. But when your kid cries, they still want you to kiss it and make it better...and you will...and you will end up feeling bad an apologizing.

The truth is you will take 20 pictures trying to get that special moment you picture and you will get mad when they don't cooperate. You tell yourself you didn't get any and will delete them all. You will have a hard time deleting any in fear you won't even get that little moment back again.

The truth is you will feel like a bad mom...more than you will feel like a good mom. Someone, anyone, will tell you the little person that is driving you up the wall is smart, and funny, and sweet all because of you.

It's hard. It's wonderful. It sucks. It's the best. It's exhausting. It's invigorating. It's sad. It's happy. It's motherhood.

Facebook is an enemy, one I cannot get away from because I still love it. It's full of pictures of flowers from amazing husbands who sent them "just because". Probably "just because" he was an asshole the night before. Or mom's that put some of their 1000+ pins on Pinterest to use and made that project you have been wanting to attempt, but you had to rush out of Hobby Lobby because of a screaming infant and forgot half the supplies. Hell no you aren't going back in that store again! Or kids that actually smile for a picture. A picture where someone behind the camera is saying "doodoo" to make that smile happen. Or mom's with a smile from ear to ear holding their kids, a mom that is secretly suffering from postpartum depression. Don't be fooled by what you see. I've been some of these things...life ain't always what it seems. But it's your life. So if you can't tell, I had a rough day. No matter how rough the day is, I always wake up a new person and a new mom who seems to forget what happened to day before. You have to. Everyday is different and everyday deserves to be cherished. These times don't last forever, and in 20 years, I'll give anything to go back to my hardest day just to have my kids be babies again.

2 Month Comparison

Jett

Holt

Jett is 2 months!

Where oh where has the past 2 months gone? I didn't enter that newborn zombie phase like I did with Holt, but for some reason the past 2 months are blurry! All I seem to remember is feeding and changing diapers and telling Holt "No!" about a million times a day. Jett has settled into this family quite nicely and he holds a special place in all of our hearts. I can't explain the love you feel for a second a child, how instantaneous it is and how you get to truly cherish every sweet smile and coo even more than the first one. Holt just loves Jett and likes to hug him and share his toys. When Jett starts to "talk", Holt says "What are you talkin' bout Jett?" So far he is very gentle with him, I have only had to tell him to be careful once or twice when he tries to pat his back too hard to burp him. Kyle just loves to cuddle with a newborn baby and could just hold him while he sleeps for hours and hours.

His 2 month stats are:
13lbs 9oz, 85%
24.5in 95%
Size 1 (barely) diapers, should be in 1-2s
3-6 month clothes, some 6 months

He is eating every 2.5-4 hours during the day depending on his nap schedule, which is still few and far between during the day. At night he goes to bed around 7:30 or 8 and I feed him once more before I go to bed. His friend Colic has decided to leave him alone, thank goodness. We are starting to get out some more, like going to the park or running a quick errand. I forget what a slave you are to this 3 hour time schedule. You basically have an hour and half or less to get something done. A typical day is like this

Sometime between 7- 9am-Morning feeding
An hour and half is his awake threshold almost to the minute so he settles into a cat nap, 20 min
Sometime between10-12-Another Feeding
Another Cat nap
1-3- Feeding
Possible a long nap after this, and by long I mean 45 min or less. Some days he will actually sleep for a couple hours in a row, but that's rare and it's typically when we are not at home. He doesn't like sleeping at home.
4-6 Feeding
Short nap in the swing while I get dinner together
Sometimes a feeding around 7, 7:30 Bed time
10-11- Last feeding
4-5am "Middle" of the night feeding

His schedule is actually all over the place and really hard to pinpoint times because they vary each day depending on when he wakes up to eat in the morning and how long his naps are. Since Colic went away, evenings are much better and he settles down to sleep by 8.

He loves:
Baths
Mommy
Watching Holt
Ceiling Fans and Lights

He dislikes:
The sun in his eyes
Waking up from a nap in public
Being hungry
Naps

We are sure enjoying our time with him. It just gets better and better. He's a growing chunk and I wouldn't have it any other way!

One Month Comparison

Here is Holt at one month and Jett at one month...I think they are going to look very different from eachother!