Monday, April 25, 2011

Bye Bye Breastfeeding

So awhile back, when Holt had just turned 8 months, I decided that 9 months was the time to start the weaning process. When I reached my goal of 6 months, I thought I would just go ahead and try for the one year mark. Neither Holt or I want to reach the one year mark. I must admit, that I have had a pretty flawless nursing experience. Other than the first few weeks of pain and getting used to the sleeplessness, it's been pretty easy for me. Even when I was working, he never ever had formula. No one tells you how hard it is, or if they do, you don't understand why. Now I know why, it's TOUGH. But so wonderful at the same time.

People ask me why am I stopping now? Well, I like to think it's a mutual decision for both of us, and some selfish ones for myself. For starters, he's impossible to nurse during the day. He's completely not interested. He is so distracted that I just sit on the couch with my boob out for 20 minutes trying to make him eat. He doesn't want it. He only wants it in the morning and before bed. Luckily, I've never used it as a pacification tool so I don't think he is ever going to miss it. It's always just been a source of food for him and I would not let him nurse unless it was time to eat. Never on demand, only when it was time. Very controversial subject, I'm aware, but hey this is what worked for us and he's a perfectly healthy baby. So besides both of us getting frustrated with the daytime feedings, here are my selfish reasons.

-I want MY body back! I've been sharing this body for like 18 months now, I want it back.
-I'd like to drop those last few pounds and stop craving sugar and carbs all the time
-This linea negra has got to go. I'm determined to be in a bikini this summer and right now I'll be in a monokini because my linea negra is STILL there
-It's time for these hormones to take a hike, in other words, I can't wait to get my mojo back. You know what I'm sayin'?
-Adios pumping before bed, I despise you.

I'm starting pretty hard core and dropping the 2 daytime feedings at the same time, the noon and the 4. I'm not sure when I'll drop the morning one, another week or so? Then the nighttime one will be last. Sometimes now he will pull away and put his head on my shoulder, he would just rather go to sleep. Ok by me. My goal is to have him weaned by 10 months. I want it to be a slow process for the both of us. I'm not looking forward to what these things are going to look like when I'm done. SCARED.

I still have some supply built up in the freezer and I'm supplementing with formula for the very first time. Eventually he will just be on formula and then whole milk. I'm hoping we can start whole milk around 11 months so I don't have to buy formula for long. It's been nice not having that expense. Kyle asked me if I am going to miss this, the answer is NO. I am very proud of Holt and I for making it this far. I am certain that breastfeeding is what has kept him so healthy and made his RSV pretty mild. I pat myself on the back for going this far, but I am perfectly fine with saying sayonara.

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