Can I Just Say...

That time of the week where I need to get a few things off my chest. Here goes:

Can I just say that Toddlers and Tiaras is disgusting...and entertaining? So if it's on...and I'm alone, I watch it. Mostly with a look a sheer disgust on my face with the occasional giggle. Now I was in pageants growing up. Yes I was, 2nd Runner Up Imperial Miss when I was 18 months old, so I'm basically a pro. It's disgusting because the mothers are disgusting. I'm not even mad that they exploit their little girls, I'm mad that they are living vicariously through them. Is it a rule that the mothers of pageant girls must live in trailers and be obese? That seems to be the norm. "Hey we don't have any money, let's spend thousands of dollars on pageants and if we're lucky enough, she gets top prize at the Holiday Inn Pageant and we will bring home $100!" No wonder they live in trailers. Now some of the moms are pretty and some of the girls seem to truly enjoy the pageant life, good for them. But the hideous mother, in more ways than one, that gives her already obnoxious child Go Go Juice (a concoction of mountain dew and red bull) to get her amped up before a pageant is just wrong. Maybe she should have tried the placebo effect before real caffeine Honey Boo Boo Child...

Can I just say that I am so angry at the selfish father who took his life and the lives of his two innocent sons? If you can't live without your children, then just off yourself. Problem solved, you aren't living without them because well...you aren't living, and they get to go on and live normal lives. I want to cry/turn the tv off every time this man is mentioned. It's one of the worst stories I have heard on the news in awhile. I am so sad for the family who lost their daughter and now their grandchildren.

Can I just say that Valentine's Day is not just about the females? I get so mad when men claim this to be true. Kyle and I make a true effort to make the day special for both of us. I don't expect it to be all about me. If you spend all year making your woman mad then yeah you should make one day about her, but if you don't then it's a day of love for both of you. So guess what March 14th, you are irrelevant. Google it.

Can I just say that this article rubbed me the wrong way. How immature and selfish is the coach of the other team to bring this to the officials attention? The girls basketball team was trying to earn money for Make A Wish and bring awareness to the charity and this jerk decides they are breaking a rule and should be penalized. Did they perhaps break a rule, yes, should any human being with a heart have thought about bringing it to the officials attention, absolutely not. Shame on that coach for caring more about winning a game than the cause of a charity.

Can I Just Say...

Ok, I've decided to start my own column. For all 23 of you that read this. I don't want to bombard facebook with my views and opinions so I decided to blog about it. Sometimes the news makes me angry, ok all the time the news makes me angry. It's not because it's the news, it's because of the people that live in this world. This is a great country we live in and some people are just really irritating me. So Can I Just Say is how I feel about what is going on in the media at any given time. Here goes:

Can I just say, that lady who gave birth to a 14 pound baby naturally is crazy. Yeah she is crazy for not getting the drugs, but she is more crazy for not taking care of herself during pregnancy. Lets be real, she most likely had gestational diabetes and either went to some hokey pokey midwife that didn't take the time to diagnose it or she ignored her diagnosis all together. She had a 14 lb baby because she was careless. It is making me crazy to see her on the news with this baby that is just plain lucky to be here. That is a very serious condition and I'm irate that she was so ignorant during pregnancy. Do I have any proof whatsoever that she had gestational diabetes, absolutely not. That is just merely my observation. Normal pregnancies don't produce 14lb children.

Can I just say, who cares if Paula Deen has type 2 diabetes? She is acknowledging the disease and taking care of herself. She has said that, all we have is her word. And I believe her. What I can't believe is all this backlash about how these TV chefs don't cook healthy enough. I'm sorry, are they coming to your house shoving butter and sugar down your throats on a daily basis? No, you are doing that yourselves. Just because they cook something that isn't the picture perfect recipe for your diet, doesn't mean you have to make it too. I enjoy these shows and 80% of them time I am healthy. Sometimes I want to be unhealthy. Just because it's there, doesn't mean you have to make it. Not to mention, any healthy person will know the proper substitutions for an unhealthy meal. So if Paula Deen jumped off a bridge, would you? No? Ok, then why the criticism if Paula Deen cooks with butter? Don't cook that recipe!

Can I just say, I have no idea what is going on in the political world? Mitt, Newt, what? We might elect a president with one of those names? A baseball glove and a type of amphibian? I'm just not even sure I will vote at all. I have no idea what is going on, irresponsible of me as an American Citizen perhaps, but with all the contradictions and bashing of one another, I really can't stand it. I haven't watched a single debate and I only know there is a primary in Florida today because I saw it on the 11am news...which I quickly turned off because news makes me angry. Everyone wants to criticize and no one has any answers. This makes me angry.

That is all for this first installment of Can I Just Say...there will be plenty more to follow you can count on that.

Holt is 18 months!

Oh hi, remember me? Yeah, I haven't blogged in quite sometime. Since we moved over Christmas, anything Christmas worthy was kept only in my memories. No sense in going back now, but if you must know, Christmas was fabulous. So my "baby" is now 18 months old. I've reached the age where I wonder how I will tell people his age when asked after this month is over. When the time comes will I say "A year and a half." "He'll be two in July" or the ever annoying "He's 21 months." That doesn't mean much to most people. Guess I'll just have to see what comes out of my mouth when the time comes. Holt is an expert mimic and wants to do everything by himself. The time has come when cuss words must be replaced with other words like "shucky darns" and "phooey". He mimics me when I put on lip gloss, smacks his lips, or when I call Bentley. He has picked up on his name and very cutely says, "Ben-beeee!" while looking up at the ceiling, I have no clue why. I still have a tall skinny boy on my hands. Here are his stats:

-22 lbs 12oz (12%)
-32in (72%)
-Size 4 diapers
-5.5 shoe
-18 month clothes, starting to work our way into 24month and 2T (his waist is just so tiny!)

Since his 15 month post, he has become very independent and is into exploring everything. Here is the list I kept on my iPhone, you don't really think I just remember this stuff over the past 3 months do you?

-Can differentiate hot and cold. Touches a light "Haahh." Walk into the freezer dept at the store "brrrr"
-He is learning to "sing". I ask him to sing me a song and who knows what will come out of his mouth. My fav is when he attempts the ABCs "AAAHHH EEEE CCCCC" Only I know that is what he is singing.
-Slight obsession with his bellybutton and other people's bellybuttons. Don't be surprised if he comes up to you and lifts up your shirt...we must work on his manners :)
-Likes dipping his food in ketchup or anything he feels is dip worthy (Totally gets this from Kyle)
-Pretty much an expert at using his eating utensils, almost eats better with them than with his hands now
-We will say "Mommy and Daddy love each other" and then we kiss. He gets so tickled and gives us each a big smacker on the lips too.
-M&Ms are like a drug to him. You should see his face when they are mentioned. I ask him "What do you want now?" His answer is always Mem-a-mem...even at breakfast.
-One time he said a sentence, one time, "Bye bye dada"
-He knows all his body parts, even THAT one. Calls it his "Woo woo" I say wee wee, he says woo woo. Holt found Bentley's woo woo too, poor Bentley.
-Starting to take a big interest in letters. He can recognize a few, H is his fav. Almost everything is Aaach. He points at letters everywhere wanting me to tell him what they are.
-He absolutely LOVES feeding Bentley. Even if it's piece by piece of his tiny dog food. This takes a good 10 minutes at dinner time so I can finish making his dinner or putting the finishing touches on ours.
-Holt probably says close to 20 words, hard to keep count because they aren't all used everyday. Some of them are: bubble, no no no no, baby, Santa (tanta), yuck, cheese, fish, bye bye, ball, Ash, Meme, George (juj), ice, uh-oh (more like aaaaoooooohhh), cookie (just the C sound), and vroom vroom anytime he sees a car. He tries really hard to say almost everything I ask him too though.
-He would spend all day everyday outside if I let him, he is absolutely in love with being outside.
-Has almost perfected an unassisted forward roll, he has done it several times alone just needs a slight push

That is my little guy the past three months. This is a very busy age. We have an absolute blast together. We are always laughing. And it is safe to say I am absolutely pooped by the time Kyle gets home. It's nonstop. He has a very funny personality and has no problem laughing in my face when he gets in trouble. I wish I could bottle all of his facial expressions so I could always remember his sweetness... and his orneriness.

Santa=Fail

Well, I knew this would be the result this year. Last year the pic was so sweet and he had no idea what was going on. This year, was quite the opposite. I tried really hard to make Santa seem sweet and jolly like he is. I was pointing at him while we waited in line. I was telling Holt to wave and blow kisses, which he happily did. The closer we got...the tighter his legs were clinging to my waist. I kept hoping he would have a change of heart, especially because Santa was waving and playing peekaboo with Holt while we waited in between kids. No such luck. Santa pried Holt from my arms and the screaming began. Holt was frozen with fear. Out of 4 pics they snapped, they were all the same. We even tried to get one with his eyes open, no such luck. I had M&Ms waving in front of him and he wouldn't even eat one of those. I thought it was hilarious but the photographer felt really bad so she went and picked him up. He was absolutely terrified...and I've got a picture to frame and cherish forever during the Holidays! I couldn't have asked for a better reaction really.

Validation

Us Moms are so hard on ourselves, we really are. If you're like me you go to bed every night wondering if you gave your child enough vegetables that day, particularly green ones, or if you should have read a couple more books, or tried harder to teach them the difference between blue and green while secretly trying to figure out if they are color blind at an early age. What, no? Just me? Didn't think so. Or maybe you should have reviewed those animal sounds one more time because gosh darnit why can't he say MOOO or OOOHHH OOOHHH AAAHH AAAHH like a monkey, after all it is his favorite animal. It's no wonder we can't find time for ourselves, our thoughts are consumed by those special special, all time consuming children God placed in our lives. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it for anything. Once you go through all the "I should have dones" you move onto the "what did I do's" and again, like me, you draw a huge blank. You promise tomorrow will be different and you won't waste a second after breakfast jumping onto those ABC's and colors. I have even told myself, "Maybe I should set aside an hour to 'teach' him, like he is homeschooled." What, that's crazy, isn't it?

Here's the deal, they are learning all day and you are teaching all day. I came across this article on Facebook this afternoon, yeah so what I was using my free time on Facebook. Another promise I make to myself everyday that I WILL NOT waste my time doing. I'm glad I took the time to read it because for once it summed up how I felt. I had validation as a mom. Forget that the article even says anything about stay at home moms, this goes for all moms. I've been the working mom too and I admit, I was not good at it. I was great at my job, ok as a mom, and terrible as a wife. I had to see the bigger picture and now, no matter what it takes, I will stay home with my children. Another blog entirely, and I digress. Anywho, this article has the validation I have been looking for. Every single word of it is the truth and I could not have said it better myself.

Typical scenario: I have to be somewhere at 10, I tell myself we will leave at 9:45 (is it strange I give myself 15 minutes to get anywhere, even if I clearly know it is more than 15 minutes away? It's like as long as I leave earlier than I am supposed to be there, I feel good about it.) I realize at 9:45 I have not filled up his sippy cup with 3/4 water and 1/4 apple juice. He is suddenly in a I want to be held mood. My 2 hands are down to one. Somehow I must get his snack, goldfish or cheerios, in his snack cup without him pitching a fit because I won't give it to him at that moment. I distract him by asking him questions, "Where is Bentley?" "Did you hear that bird?" "If you're happy and you know it..." Ok, the snack is ready. He sees the snack, tantrum begins, I give in and give him a couple goldfish at 9:51 in the morning. I throw my purse on, grab his monkey backpack. Where is his favorite book? We have to have it for the car ride. I find his book. I'm now carrying my 21pound child, snacks (out of view), my purse...where are his shoes? Nope not upstairs, not under the couch, oh yea, the shoes are in the car. I grab the sippy cup with my one finger left. Ugh, the dog needs to be put up. I'll put Holt down, nope he's not having it. I run upstairs with my arms full, put Bentley in his house and try not to set anything down along the way because I WILL forget it. To the car we go. Throw some of the stuff in the front seat, keep snacks out of sight, get him in the car seat. He's pitching a fit because he wants to watch the DVD player that I only allow on road trips. Hand him the book. Get in the front seat, look at the clock when I start the car...10:03. This happens every single time. I'm ALWAYS late. This was just a mere 15-20 minutes of my day. Every little thing takes much longer than anticipated.

I have thought about this a lot since I've been a mom and that is the fact that this little person is going to learn how to speak a language, mostly from me. This little person is going to learn please and thank yous and great manners, even though I can admit I may not have the best manners. I burp at the dinner table, sorry Mom. Will I get onto him for burping at the dinner table, absolutely. I guess I better change my ways...soon. The point is this, without realizing what we did on a daily basis, that little person learned something. Day in and day out, they are learning and you are teaching. I know some great mommies out there and we all talk about this frequently. You are doing a great job and your babies think you are doing a great job. We all need to give ourselves a lot more credit for what it takes to be a mom. It is the hardest job in the world. Even on days when you have a total blast at it. This blog has gone on for awhile, my apologies. Two glasses of well deserved wine will do that to a blog post.

Sleep tight, and instead questioning yourself...thank God for giving you the opportunity. Now someone remind me that I need to do that too.

Holt is 15 months!

Yes, yes, he is already 15 months old. I'd like to say time is going by very slowly, but I can't. It is flying by! Months feel like a week. It's just crazy how fast these little beings change. Holt is an expert tantrum thrower and I have to turn my head and smile most the time. The advice is true, it is much easier to ignore the tantrum than fuel it. Sometimes I will just try to hug it out of him much to his dismay. We had to repeat his bloodwork to check for anemia at his 15 month check-up and I am happy to say he is no longer anemic. I am to give him a vitamin and pediasure for extra nutrients since he isn't a big meat eater. We will also continue the toddler formula at nighttime. He is eating a little better these days some of his fav foods are:

-Mac N Cheese (I sneak in squash puree and feel much better about this choice)
-Peanut butter sandwiches (well peanut butter and anything really)
-Avocado, Nanas, blueberries, clementine oranges, peas and carrots
-Beans and rice, tortilla
-Any kind of cheese
-Chicken patties (AKA rice balls from Deceptively Delicious, can't get those little suckers to cook well as a ball!)
-Pancakes
-Smoothies

15 month stats
-21 lbs (5-10%)
-32" (75%)
-Size 4 diapers
-Size 5 shoes
-Mostly 12 month clothes, some 18 months fit. His little waist makes 18 months a bit big still.

He is really learning more and more everyday. It does not seem like it takes as long for something to "sink in". Here are some things you can find him doing on a daily basis:

-Carrying junk mail around
-Carrying a pen and paper and pretending to write
-Started walking full time September 16th
-Bouncing on his trampoline (only bends at the knee, can't seem to figure out how to get those feet up, it's quite adorable)
-He has learned his body parts, points at his eyes, ears, head, hair, and bellybutton, sniffs when I ask where his nose is. For some reason he is quite interested in Mommy's bellybutton and this can be embarrassing because he tries to get to it by pulling my shirt down, I have no idea why, I've never shown it to him any way other than barely lifting up the bottom of my shirt.
-Shakes his head for yes, also does the same motion for please and thank you until he can say them correctly.
-Loves holding his cup and other objects in his mouth only when I say "No hands!"
-He has to point out every flag and pumpkin he sees
-Has quite the fascination with pointing out people in pictures
-If he is fussy, just give him an empty bottle of some kind (vitamins, prescription, water bottle) with a lid. He will twist the lid on and off forever.
-Loves stirring with a spoon and a bowl
-He "reads" aloud to himself. There is a certain tone of voice for this, so it's funny that he thinks he is really reading. Loves those books! I bring them in the car to keep him content.

Some of his "words" are:
-Mama (although he won't look at me and say this)
-Dada (he will say this to Kyle though and if I say Daddy is home, "Dada!Dada!")
-This is dis, that is dat
-beebeebee is baby
-Muh for milk
-daadaa for doggy or Bentley
-baaal sometimes you can hear the L sometimes you can't when he is saying ball
-buhbuhbuhbuh and waves for Bye Bye. Any closing of any door warrants a Bye bye and a wave.
-Nana for banana

Holt still has a huge fascination with animals of any kind and points out dogs anywhere and everywhere, even in pictures. Sometimes he gets so excited and I can't figure out why until I look up and see he is pointing at the dog on the sign hanging up high in the store. He loves fish and deer as well. Really any animal gets him going.

He dropped his first nap in the past couple of months. As some of you know, this has it's advantages and disadvantages. He is up for the day around 7:30 most days, breakfast at 8, snack at 10:30, lunch at 12 or so and nap between 1 and 1:30. He is usually up by 4 for another snack and dinner at 6. It's nice because we can get out in the mornings and go do more things than we did when he was napping at 10:30. But then again, I am confined to the house from 1:30 until 4. Overall, I am ok with the one nap, probably like it better actually.

We have some difficult days, but for the most part he is very easy to get along with and it doesn't take much to get him to move onto something else if he is upset. He is my best little buddy and when I am away from him, a piece of me is missing. I want him with me everywhere, even crying the entire way through the grocery store as strangers ask, "Oh is it naptime?" Love him to pieces anyways.

I need a Hobby

Everyday I tell myself the same thing, I will do something productive today. I don't mean folding laundry, teaching Holt a new trick, or getting us out of the house. Something productive for the family, or myself, however you want to look at it. I'm inspired by so many ideas on Pinterest, I should just do them. Now that Holt is down to one nap a day, which lasts anywhere from 2-3 hours, how should I spend my time? Typically I spend some time doing pointless stuff online, and I mean pointless. Facebook, reading blogs, reading TMZ, MSN, or browsing for something I "need" to buy. Then I move onto the Social Media job I have for a couple of companies setting up Facebook articles and tweets. I have about an hour left at this point, maybe 2 depending on how long he sleeps. An entire hour to do something, anything besides sit in front of the computer. I don't watch much TV anymore and I typically do chores when Holt is awake. So how do I spend this hour? I have no idea! Before I know it Holt is awake and another day has gone by where I haven't done a darn thing that is productive.

Now I told myself when I became a stay at home mom that I would spend more time with God. I'm not entirely sure what that means, which is why I think I am not very good at it. I know He doesn't care how we do it, we should just do it. I am not good at reading anything during the day because my mind is all over the place. I cannot concentrate until right before bed, so reading anything is out of the question. How do you spend time with God? As much as God would appreciate me spending 3 hours with Him each day, I think I need more of a hobby. I should spend 30 minutes with God instead of reading all the online Gossip and what my 50 friends I barely know anymore on Facebook are doing at that given second. That I should do. So how?

Holt has recently become somewhat of a picky eater. I find myself making food that he doesn't eat day in and day out. I just purchased Deceptively Delicious and it is full of yummy recipes that I cannot wait to try. As I started reading through it I thought, "Where am I going to find time to make him this food?" Uhhh, Hello Shea, you have at least 2 hours every afternoon to make something, anything. So I think I will work on my cooking skills. I have always longed to be good at baking too. With all these recipes on Pinterest I am loving, I can surely cook for my family. I want to get really good at baking so my kids friends know me for my yummy treats. Yes, I totally copied Monica from friends, but it's true.

What about decorating? We are building a new house and I should be planning how I want everything to look in every room. Ugh, really? I am not a fan of decorating. My mom is an Interior Decorator, I'll give her a budget and let her do it. I don't even know where to look for decorating ideas because that's how much I dislike it. Kyle is actually better at decorating than me. But shouldn't I want to?

So everyday I tell myself this and another day ends and I haven't done anything. There is unfolded laundry in baskets still if you want to know the honest truth. How am I spending my time? I can't nap during the day due to the guilt I feel. I can't really do anything for myself during the day while he is napping due to the guilt. This is an entirely new blog post in itself really. So my question is, how do you spend your free time? How do you spend time with God? How are you finding time to decorate for Fall or plan the Holidays? How are you cooking your family dinner? Help me find a better use of my time, please!