Happy First Birthday Jett

Dear Jett,
I have no idea where time has gone this past year. I can still remember that moment where you kicked me one last time before they took you out of my belly, like it was a week ago! I know I say it all the time, but you are my ray of sunshine, my bright spot on dark days, and my cuddly lovey baby boy. You are so much fun to be around and have quite the funny personality. You adore your big brother and I know you will be great friends. It's such a joy and privilege to watch this special sibling bond form between you two. It's hard to say what toys you like to play with because you just want what Holt is playing with. You like to throw balls and chase them. You drop things and pick them up, you like to open and close doors, and you love to chase Bentley or daa-daa as you call him. That's your only word really, you know Bentley the doggy as daa-daa. Same as your older brother did. You say Mama when you are really mad or want some attention or to get down from your highchair, but I am not entirely sure you mean it as me your Mama. In the car you like to "talk" to me and Holt by getting us to copy what you are doing. We make the same sound and you copy us back. Holt thinks this is hilarious. You love bathtime and playing with a bunch of toys and sucking on washcloths. You also start bobbing up and down and flailing your arms when you hear music, you're quite the dancer.

We got off to a rocky start when you were born because you cried for the first 4 months of your life it seems like. I'm sure it wasn't that bad but when I think back to that time, it sure felt like it. The rest of the year you have spent on my hip or in my arms. There is really no place you would rather be. You reach to get down only to get there and turn and reach back up for me to hold you some more. I have gotten very talented at using one hand to get things done. I cherish the times that you still want to be held because before long you'll be off and running wanting to spend all your time with Holt. You are finally a great napper, but you have always been a great sleeper at night. You even reach for your bed when you are just done being rocked. Some nights you don't want to read your books even, you just lay your head down on my shoulder so I can rock you. It's so sweet. You are very happy unless you are teething. You got your top 4 teeth in about a week, and that explained a lot. Now you have 6 teefers!

You are a good eater, so far. You will try whatever I put in front of you and most the time you like it. You really like yogurt, meatballs, bananas, and eggs. I keep telling your brother that you will be bigger than him by next year if he doesn't start eating better! I am so proud of you and your willingness to try new foods! You adjusted great to whole milk, except for the whole tummy thing. Poor guy. We are officially bottle free, a feat I wasn't sure would happen because you really liked your bottle!

You love people. You don't really have much of the stranger anxiety, as long as I am near. You have even warmed up to other people holding you when I am around, but usually people you know. It's usually short lived, but it's a start. Daddy really loves it when you crawl over to his feet and reach up to be held. He gets really surprised that you want him and he just loves to know you love him so much too. You are also very sensitive. You do not like to hear the word "no". You almost immediately start crying and crawl over to me. I see what you're doing...and it's working.

I can only imagine what this next year holds for you as you grow and change into a little boy. You aren't quite ready to walk yet, but I'm sure you will be in a couple months. It's a joy to be your mommy and I'm holding you to that promise you made me...that you will be my baby boy forever.

One year stats:
21lbs 10oz (60%)
30.5in (75%)
Size 4 diaper
Size 4 shoe
12-18month clothes

Silly face

You were so happy to ride the carousel for the first time

Loves to swing

Trying to be like Holt

Cherishing these moments, they are over so quick

This is 30

I've contemplated writing this blog a lot. I figured I would go for it.  30 years is a long time. You meet people that make you who you are, you live through things that mold your character, you endure challenges. Or maybe you don't. I did and for me This is 30. This is personal, this is raw, this is real, this is my first 30 years. This is 30, a list of things that have made me who I am at 30, in chronological order, for the most part.

This is 7lbs 8oz at birth, born in Oklahoma City on September 4th 1983

This is getting a baby sister at age 3

This is have my innocence stolen by a daycare worker

This is moving to Oregon at 6

This is the loss of my Grandpa and Uncle within a month of each other

This is moving to Texas at 9

This is always being the shortest and smallest in my class

This is having a cosmetic procedure on my ears at 13 (they stuck out)

This is my parents divorce in 8th grade

This is getting braces in 10th grade

This is teenage girl drama

This is being accepted to TCU

This is first love heartbreak

This is my 2 half brothers being born

This is finding the love of my life and knowing it immediately

This is my first real job making $36,500

This is getting engaged on the empty lot where our home would be

This is my wedding day 

This is the loss of an addict Uncle

This is a career change and being the breadwinner

This is finding God

This is the birth of my first son

This is becoming a Stay at Home Mom

This is moving back to Houston

This is the birth of my second son

This is overcoming postpartum depression

This is a C section scar, a flabby tummy, and stretch marks

This is an imperfect body my husband thinks is perfect

This is learning to love myself again

This is hating myself for not loving myself

This is me questioning myself as a mother daily

This is seeing God in my life everyday

This is personal

This is Me

This is 30

This is 30, this was not easy to post

Jett is 11 months!

My oh my, where has this time gone? I can't believe he's so close to turning 1! I think about this time last year and how miserable I was getting and how excited I was to meet this baby, this big baby. Jett is learning more and more by the day. He's on the move cruising around trying to get big brother's toys. I don't even know what he likes because he's completely disinterested in baby toys. Nothing is as exciting as the Superheroes with buttons and lights! He does like his play and learn table still. He's climbing on more and more things, specifically places that give me heart attacks like the fireplace and step stools. There has not been a lot of changes other than just being more mobile. He really tries to say Mama, especially when he's bored or mad, but it comes out NeNe, haha! He can say Mama, but has not put the two together as far as identifying me. He's starting to learn words when I ask him where something is, mostly just family members but we are working on things like ball and book too. I keep waiting for him to start waving, which I know Holt was doing by now, but I also blame myself a lot for things like this. I had all my time to spend with Holt and teaching him words, sounds, objects, you name it. Poor Jett doesn't get the same undivided attention, but that comes with the territory of having more than one child. Any spare time I have with just me and Jett, I try to play or "teach" him, but once Holt is around, he just wants to be doing what he is doing.

He is still a major Mama's boy. He wants nothing to do with other people, mostly if I am around. Kyle always says, "He was fine until you walked in!" Haha! As soon as he sees me, it's like whoever just had him was torturing him tremendously. He's happiest on my hip or crawling at my feet.

We have introduced a lot a new food, not all of them I will remember, but I pretty much give him anything we are eating just to try. He has tried ravioli with tomato sauce, plums, peaches, pears, apples, meatballs, chicken nuggets, pasta, tortilla, waffles, pancakes, grilled cheese, PBJ, etc. Kyle gave him some PBJ one night without even remembering that babies are not supposed to consume it until after they are one, so luckily we found out he does not have a peanut allergy. Now he likes it just fine! Jett does pretty well with finger foods, but still eats baby food too. This is pretty odd for a baby of his age, but I'm ok with it because I know what he is getting. I can't say that he eats anything and everything I put in front of him, but he will almost always try it. He mostly just plays with it, but from the looks of him, he's not starving. He takes 4 6oz bottles a day and we have started to wean him from the bottle. This is not coming as easy as it did with Holt. I may just have to go cold turkey from the bottle because I do not want him on one after he is 1. We will also introduce some whole milk here and there over the next month until he is 1 so it is less of a shock to his system.

He takes 2 naps a day, one at 10:30 and one at 3. He does better sleeping later in the day because he gets really tired for bed around 7 or so. He is started to be able to take or leave his morning nap, so I am sure that will be dropped around 14 months or so, much like Holt did. I still prefer him to get his morning nap, but some times he just sits in there and plays for an hour and then I don't see the point! I would rather be out and about getting stuff done or going to the gym. His morning naps are short 30 minutes, sometimes a little longer and his afternoon naps are usually almost 2 hours. It's nice to know he is settled into a more regular sleep pattern since that was a big struggle for us early on. He sleeps from about 8-7:30. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but he's good for about 11 hours straight at night.

Some other facts:
12 month clothes, really need to find those 18 month hand me downs!
Size 4 diaper
Finger foods at every meal
Not a sippy cup perfectionist, but will at least drink from it now

He's my Mr. Million Dollar Smile! He has the BEST smile. I can't wait to see all the learning and growing in store these next few months for him!

Smash Cake Practice

Typical sight around here with boys, Night Stand-1 Jett-0

My 3 Year Old Superhero

To my sweet Holt,
You are 3 now. I still remember everything about the days leading up to your birth and the day of your birth like it was yesterday. I can't believe you're 3, it's major big boy stuff now. This has been a big year of changes for you. Soon after you turned 2, you welcomed your little brother Jett into your world. You have quickly become Big Brother of the Year! From the early days of completely ignoring him and wanting nothing to do with him to being very concerned about him if he is crying or sleeping. You always want to help with him and I catch you giving him hugs and kisses. I couldn't ask for a better big brother for him. You always ask me, "Is Jett coming?" when we are getting ready to leave the house. You make him laugh when he is sad and you are always helping him choose "baby friendly" toys. You say, "Oh Jett is too little to play with this, I go get him one of his toys." I am so lucky to witness your growing bond and friendship on a daily basis.

You also were potty trained in March! This was something I was truly dreading, but like most things, you made it easier than I could have ever imagined. We decided over Easter weekend in March that you would not be wearing diapers anymore. Daddy took you to the store to buy your own little potty when we discovered the big one was more challenging. You had an accident right there in the aisle at HEB! OOPS. Daddy sat with you and read books and watched YouTube videos with you while you got the hang of it. The next day we went to Church in the evening for Easter and you asked Mommy to take you to go "wee wee". I was so proud of you! On Easter Sunday, Daddy took you to an Astros game in a pull-up just in case. 3 times you asked him to take you to the bathroom to do your business, both kinds. There was no turning back from that point! You have had a small accident here and there (mostly in the first week) but I considered you fully potty trained within a week! For something I was dreading so much, I can't imagine you being in diapers anymore! You still sleep in a pull-up at night, but 9 times of of 10 you are still dry in the morning.

You also went from a toddler bed to a big boy bed! Another change I was dreading, but you did great. We put pillows on the side just in case you fall out. You hardly ever get out of your bed unless we come and get you, same after your nap. You really like your bed too and you share it with all of your monkeys. You sleep with at least 10 things in your bed, mostly your monkeys, but any new toy has been known to sleep with you the first few days. I also find books in your bed, you still love books. I love to see you sleeping, you look like the sweet baby I brought home 3 years ago.

You are still the pickiest eater I have ever known. When I tell people how picky you are, they are in disbelief. I can't even call it picky because that would mean you actually try food and decide you don't like it. You just look at food and decide you don't want anything to do with it. You don't like the foods that most toddlers survive on like chicken nuggets, pizza, mac n cheese, and hot dogs. You won't touch those, except maybe an occasional Chickfila nugget. Your daily diet consists of something for breakfast (poptart, cereal, breakfast cookies, and a fruit) crackers and yogurt pretty much make up the rest of the day. You will almost always eat queso when we go out to eat, but not the rice or beans and most the time not even the tortilla. You obviously aren't starving, but I have no idea where your energy comes from. You eat nothing! You are learning to like more fruits but will not touch vegetables of any kind. I've tried everything to sneak in more nutrition for you and you refuse it every time. You're even choosy about the flavor of pediasure I give you, which we call a milkshake.

I must say you are very well behaved. I get compliments about how well behaved you are, especially from your teachers at school. My little teacher's pet, somehow that does not surprise me. They tell me all the time what a great listener you are. So I wonder how that changes when I bring you home? For the most part you listen to what we tell you, sometimes you choose not to listen at all and keep doing exactly what we have just told you not to. Mommy gets very frustrated with you when do you not listen to me. I think you are so smart and that you know better, but maybe sometimes you just don't. You're so good so often, that I find it hard to deal with you when you aren't minding me. You are also very smart. You have a vocabulary that shocks me (narwhal, what?). You can remember anything and everything which has proved to be a blessing and a curse.

All of your toys must now come in collections. Toy Story and Superheros are your favorite. You can't just play with Buzz and Woody, you have to have the entire cast of characters. We've been working on adding to your collection since Christmas. Luckily for your birthday, you got most of your Superhero action figures. However, we don't have Thor, gosh forbid, and we hear about it all the time. On top of those loves, you love dancing and singing, and playing instruments. I think you like the instruments so you can sing loudly. I'm also impressed with your pop culture knowledge. You can spot a Pink song within seconds. I'm not sure how this love come about, but I think it's really funny.

You've also gotten in touch with your spiritual side. You enjoy saying your prayers, mostly thanking God for what you have. After every prayer at dinner you say, "Wow, that's a good prayer Mommy and Daddy". You also really enjoy Sunday School at our new church. You even cried one Sunday when we couldn't go.

You're 3, and you're all boy, and you're all ours. We love you Holt Cannon Kummer.

Pajamas and Donuts, Holt turns 3!

We had his birthday party Saturday morning, my new fav time for a birthday party, by the way. There were all kinds of donuts and breakfast foods. We had kolaches, fruit salad, donut holes, cake donuts with sprinkles, regular donuts with sprinkles, glazed donuts, and my Mother in Law's special Charger Re-chargers. (One of Kyle's favorites from high school) They are butter tastin' biscuits with sausage and cheese inside, highly addicting.

I figured this is probably the last year I could do his party without much input from him. I've always wanted to have a breakfast themed party. Holt fights me every morning to stay in his pajamas, so this theme was truly perfect for him. Not to mention donuts are one of the only things he will eat, even if it's just the icing. We had around 40 people here, maybe more, and it was so fun. The kids loved making their Froot Loop necklaces even if they did not stay on their necklaces for long! Holt finally understood what his birthday was all about this year and could not wait for his friends to show up. He would keep asking me, "Are my friends here yet?" It's hard to believe he is 3! I'll have a separate post on that later. Here are some party highlights.

Keep Calm and Eat a Donut, ain't that the truth

10 dozen donut holes to make a tower, for the record

She's cute

Froot Loop Necklaces

Blowing out his candle on his special donut

Loved every minute of his party

Jett is 10 months!

How can this be? I just truly can't believe it. I can remember Holt being 10 months old so vividly this is crazy to me!

Jett has finally started to crawl! He was just happy as could be sitting there playing and watching his brother all this time. Now I'm sure he wonders why he didn't do this sooner! Although I am already missing the old days. He li
kes to play with things like the barstools and kitchen chairs or attempt to climb on the fireplace. So in other words, I have several small heart attacks a day. Sometimes he stops and puts both his feet down like he wants to stand, but he does not have the upper body strength for that just yet. He prefers standing to sitting these days. His obession is doorstops. He can spot them anywhere. He crawled all the way from the kitchen to the front of the house because he spotted the doorstop by the front door. He finds them fascinating and hilarious. He prefers to play with whatever big brother is playing with, much to Holt's dismay. I've already gotten rid of a lot of baby toys because I honestly don't think he will ever play with them!

He still loves books, absolutely loves them. As soon as we sit down in his glider before naps or at bedtime, he leans over and reaches for them. Usually he's happy with what I choose, but if he's not, he lets me know it and I choose a different one. Sometimes he is just so tired that he closes the book and turns and lays his head down on me, like he's saying "That's enough Mom, goodnight."

He has 4 bottles a day with 6oz each. 7:30, 11:30, 4, and at bedtime. His naps are better, he's a bit more predictable than he was the past few months. He naps at 10 and 3 usually for about an hour each time, sometimes an hour and half. I'm shocked if it's 2 hours. He has about a 4 hour awake threshold, but again this has gotten much easier. He's easier to distract or keep happy if we are out and about and he's tired. I still prefer to be home at naptime, so I spend a lot of time at home between the two boys and their nap schedules. Call me crazy but I know it's why they have both been great sleepers. Jett typically sleeps about 8pm-7am, but is happy in his crib until I get him around 7:30. Sometimes I just need to get myself going in the morning before I get him.

Jett is still completely attached to my hip. He has a little more freedom now that he is crawling, but usually it's just to find me...or a doorstop. He does not seem to have much stranger anxiety, even reaching out to some of them, but only briefly until he realizes he would rather me hold him.

As far as new foods, he still likes his baby food so I still give it to him. At every meal I am offering finger foods, but he would rather play with them. Another picky eater on my hands, fabulous. I've given him meatballs, chicken, grilled cheese, mac n cheese, peas, carrots, watermelon, bananas, blueberries, pancakes, and pretty much anything we eat within reason. He just doesn't eat it. He likes to squish the fruit and throw everything else to Bentley. I will continue to offer it in hopes that he just starts to like it one day!

He is 21lbs 5oz (he went to the dr for a severe diaper rash, that's how I know). He wears size 4 diapers, 12 month clothes (although they are getting snug), and is still my chunky monkey! He still has just his 2 bottom teeth with no sign of any others popping through.

Jett's smile just lights up my days and my whole world. It's just the absolute best smile ever! He makes us so happy and his laugh is just so funny. I'm waiting for that big belly laugh that he just can't stop, but for now his silly little giggle will do. He's also sensitive. When I have to tell him No-no for pulling up on barstools, he gets very upset. Poor guy. It's going to be hard to get mad at him. I say that now...lets talk again when he's 2.

2 teefers

Attached to my hip, can't get anything done

Shopping is so much easier when the snack cup is mastered!

Happy 10 months baby boy!

I'm falling apart, y'all!

I have not been afraid of getting older, ever. I'm not afraid of 30, it doesn't mean anything to me, it's just a number. Plus I got carded a couple weeks ago, so I know I don't look 30. *ear to ear grin*
However, my body is like "hold up!" I figured I would be one of those annoying people that bounced back to their prebaby weight within the first month, both times. I was wrong, both times. I was 92lbs when I got married and 100lbs when I got pregnant with Holt. I remember at that time I was trying to lose 5lbs before I got pregnant. Ummm, what? 95lbs, are you kidding? I have always been tiny and petite and never had any trouble with my body image or losing weight. So then come the kids. We all know what that does to our bodies during pregnancy, nothing can prepare you for what happens after! This skin, the spider veins, the pooch, the c section pooch, all of it!

This is why I am falling apart before the age of 30. I have keratosis pilaris, I have sun damaged skin, I have diastastis recti, I will battle kidney stones the rest of my life, I have chicken wings, I have 10lbs to lose, I have floppy flappy deflated balloon boobies, the list could go on. Who would have thought 10 years ago as I was getting so excited to legally buy alochol in one short year that I would be battling all of this drama on my body years later.

So what is keratosis pilaris? It's a hormonal change after you give birth, or really it can be in anyone, mine just appeared after having Holt. My arms are covered in tiny lil whitehead bumps which is basically my keratin cells getting stuck under my skin not able to leave my body. Whatever. They are ugly, bumpy, and make me super self conscious in sleeveless shirts. But, hey, I live in Texas and I have no choice. And by the way, it's dominant so there will be a 50% chance I pass it along to my children. I'm now using a $25 lotion to eliminate the bumps...it's been 3 weeks, they're still there. I'll have to use it forever or they will come back.

If you saw my FB post, you know I am totally freaked out by diastasis recti. My ab muscles are so weak from my babies that my stomach just pushes right through them when I'm full or just standing there. I still look pregnant because of this. Y'all are so nice and saying I look great, blah blah blah. I want to wear tighter fitting shirts again and I want to wear a 2 piece bathing suit again. None of this will happen until I am certain a stranger won't ask, "So how far along are you? You're just cranking them out aren't you!" It could totally happen. Not to mention, I still have a very dark and visible linea negra so I wouldn't blame someone for asking me if I was expecting again. That stupid thing won't go away.

I looked in the mirror one day and saw sun damage. I totally abused my skin in high school and college. My face is showing the proof. Thank you Retin A, I will be using you the rest of my life as well as another expensive face lotion "for best results."

Kidney stones, oh kidney stones. I did not know I had these until I was pregnant with Jett and I passed them. At 32 weeks I was hospitalized with major pains and unknown to me, small contractions. I knew I should have gone to the hospital. I woke up in the most excruciating pain from my back to the front. I thought it was a UTI. After taking a prescription, it did not get better within a few hours so I asked to go to the hospital. They took me to labor and delivery and gave me my drip of drugs. I don't remember what they were, but they were amazing. After an ultrasound they saw I had kidney stones. I passed 3 a week later...and it was weird. After I had Jett I was told to go back to my urologist for a follow up. An X-Ray and an MRI showed I still had kidney stones that my urologist said "Are going to get you eventually." Oh joy. There was only one that could be seen in the X ray, so I was not a good candidate for a procedure to remove it. So I'm a ticking time bomb for more excruciating pain someday, could be tomorrow, could be 10 years from now. There is no way of knowing. So what is causing the kidney stones? It could have been something in my diet or something I was not producing. Turns out I have incredibly low citrate levels. Thanks to a 24 hour urine test, they were able to find this. That's right. I pee into a bowl then dump it into a giant container and mix it around after 24 hours. Then I drop the sample off at my doctor's office. An abnormally low citrate level that is concerning is 320...mine was 107. My body does not make enough citrate to prevent the stones from forming. I went on a prescription that I would have to take my entire life. After 3 months and another 24 hour urine test, my doctor saw my pH levels were too high because of the medicine. I didn't like the medicine anyways, so I was fine with stopping. Now I am on magnesium oxide and 2 glasses of Simply Lemonade a day. I am due for another urine test so we will see what is wacky this time. My doctor said this is a lifelong problem and he will see my children grow and I will see his grow. Fabulous.

So I can only credit this all to getting older. I was fine with 30 coming up...now I am terrified what in the heck my body will do next. I mean this is weird stuff. TMI...nah.